Closure (Kellic)

Day 1

4 days to go

That's what my reminder told me when I woke up, I just had 4 more days on this earth. I checked the time on my phone, 6 in the morning which means I could go to school, or get started on this bucket list. But I refuse for a second to waste my last days in that shit hole. It was a mistake to go yesterday and I'm sure as hell not going back. I don't want anymore of the marks I have on my body to add up, I'm good with the ones I have. When I'm dead, they can take my lifeless body and beat it like a piñata, like I know they probably will do.

I rolled over out of bed, scratching my head and going over to my closet. I took out some clothes and boxers, getting everything ready before I go shower. When I finished, I grabbed a towel and searched for my shoe box, I remembered that I had it in the bathroom. I wasn't going to cut or anything, I just wanted it to be somewhere that I know where it's at when I need it. I grabbed my towel and went into the bathroom, laying the towel down and looking around for my box. I looked through the doors, drawers, everything place in there. The thought occurred to me, making me stop in my tracks and look into the mirror.

"Shit." I muttered to myself. "Fuck my life right now." I kicked the door cabinets underneath the sink and threw my arms up. They took the box and are keeping it away from me. Well, they don't know, I won't be needing that to do what I'm going to do anyway.

I finally told myself, 'Fuck it' and got in the shower, letting the boiling hot water empty out onto my skin. I took of the gauze that was soaking up most of the water and threw it in the trash can. If they don't want me to self harm, they should just lock me in a room with no windows or anything, but even then I'd probably bang my head on the floor or something just to inflict pain on myself. For a while, I let the water run down my hair, covering my face, and scarcely hitting my wrist, it was like I was standing in the rain, and I loved the rain. It showed that even the sky cries, even the sky screams, which just means your not alone.

I was done being depressed, I actually wanted to celebrate my last days alive like they were a going away party or my birthday. I wanted it all to be a happy time, at least for me, so I can enjoy the last few pieces of my life. I still hadn't decided on which item I wanted to cross out the bucket list. I began to think about it, the stupidest one was doing parkour. At the time, it seemed kind of fun to do, because I would like to be one of those people who jump from the roof high buildings to other roofs of another building. It would be like I was Spider-Man or something, or even better, one of those people on one of those Nike commercials I saw once upon a time.

That would be the first things I would mark off my list, and I was ready for it. I hurried up and washed my body, washing my hair too while I was at it. When I got out, I went to the sink, brushing my teeth and wiping at the foggy mirror. I never knew why people looked into the mirror while brushing their teeth, I noticed that a lot of people do it though. I looked at my hair, finishing up and spitting and parting my hair. A few strands of my hair turning back to their natural hair color of brown. I sighed and shook it off, not like I was going to be bothered by it in a few days.

My troubles right now was that even though I know I only have a few days left, I still get stressed out about the little things. Why the fuck am I worried about my hair when I'm going to dead, I shouldn't give a rat's ass what it looks like. Same goes for the mirror and the box and school, I just need to calm down and relax. With my towel wrapped around my waist, I went back out into my room, closing the door behind me. I sat on my bed with my towel around me, picking up my phone and choosing a song to play. I decided to play my two favorite songs on repeat, Leave Out All The Rest and In The End by Linkin Park.

I laid my phone down and began pulling on my clothes, and putting on deodorant. I looked in the mirror, messing with my hair some and putting on a beanie. I didn't care what it looked like, it was covered, so what the hell. I went to my bed, flopping on it and grabbing the book from my nightstand as I got on. I opened my nightstand drawer and took out a pen, opening the book and marking out parkour. I slid the book under my pillow when I heard a knock on the door.