Trashed

Chapter 4

By the time I arrived back at the station, my hands were quivering. I hastily shoved the motorbike back into its space before turning and stalking towards the front door. Unluckily for me, the only one standing there was Elsie, fingers flicking over a flexscreen. She looked up and her face went sour, but she put the tablet away and turned to face me as I approached her.
"Hi."
"Very interesting report you sent me, Johnson. Damon and I puzzled over your very unclear instructions for 12 hours. Not even Mum could get the story straight. So, what are you not telling us?" Elsie said, eyes narrowing. I put my hands up, shaking my head.
"I didn't write half of the report. Honestly, most of that is sources from Baba's research." I mumbled, trying not to cave under Elsie's glare. The lack of sleep was settling in my bones, and I cursed myself for not being able to brave the nightmares to avoid the stupid aching. "Where is your brother?" Damon and Elsie were siblings, but not by blood. They had been friends as children, and when the Plastic Hour killed Elsie's parents and siblings, Damon's family immediately took the little blonde girl in. Elsie and Damon were a vicious pair, standing up for each other and working as fluidly as a perfectly geared machine.
"He's saying goodbye to Mum and Dad. He ain't taking it too well, must believe your gonna do what you did last time we were on an Op together." Elsie hissed, turning towards the door to avoid seeing my ashen face. When the sliding doors finally opened, the tension had risen so high it was almost in space. Harper and Sadie walked out of the building, bags in tow. The boys followed a few paces behind them, Damon giving me the stink eye the entire way there. Once they all arrived at our little huddle, I finally got a good look at them. Sadie was covered in rogue bruises, which I would have to ask her about. Adam and Harper looked fine, while Damon looked like he had aged a million years in 12 hours. I frowned at his defeated demeanour, but he just narrowed his eyes at me and turned to Elsie before mumbling something to her.
"Alright. Shall we head off?" I said, trying to lift the team's spirits. They all grimaced at me, before I walked towards the hoverbikes that were set up with engines running. A hoverbike was a strange contraption that used magnets to hover above the ocean. A brave team of explores placed metal rings along the distance to Antarctica, and the bikes used magnets to launch forward. But hoverbike probably want the best name for them. 3 people fit on one at a time, a platform with a steering wheel poking out. There wasn't enough material for chairs, so everyone just straped themselves to the base of the ship and hoped for the best. If anything, they looked like grandma scooters without seats. I watched as everyone half-heartedly shoved their bags below deck before hopping on a bike. Harper, Sadie and Adam on one, and Elsie, Damon and I on the other. Elsie practically hissed at me as I took my spot at the front of the bike, standing so I could steer. I looked towards Adam who was driving the other bike and watched as he stepped on the accelerator and sped down the track. I quickly followed, flying away from the Station.

"Lunch." I yelled, and Adam slammed his breaks at the same time as I did. I was exhausted, foot on the pedal and standing for the last 5 hours, hearing Elsie and Damon whispering very loudly about me. We all jumped onto the ground and I pulled the food bag out of the storage container.
"One for you, one for you, one for you..." I said, throwing sandwiches at different people. I quickly counted the leftover sandwiches and did some math. The trip to Antartica would take 2 weeks, tops. If the bikes ran out of power with 100km to go, it would take 12 days until we arrived at Kishma's base. I looked at the breakfast, lunch, and dinner rations. Minus today's lunch rations, there were only 54 portions left in the box. That wouldn't make us all the way there. My stomach sunk as I realised we were missing enough food for exactly one person. Guess catering was still mad at me. So, I looked up at my group, smiling and laughing, and slid the sandwich I had picked up for myself back in the box. I trudged over, trying to smile.

"So-" I said, trying to start a conversation.
"Sorry, we don't talk to murderers," Harper smirked, and I tried not to let my face fall in despair, and instead let it set into a calm demeanour.
"That's nice. See you're enjoying your lunch. Heading back out in 10. Adam, you can tap out. Harper will pilot until dinner," I said, trying my hardest not to smirk as Harper looked like she was about to throw up.
"I can drive," Damon said, but I put my hand up.
"I got it," I snapped, turning and walking back to the bike. I could feel their stares as I placed the rations box back in the bottom of the hoverbike and lifting myself back up onto the platform.
"Johnson. Before we go any further, I'd like to know exactly what's going on here," Elsie said, and I glanced back at the group.
"What I told you is all you're authorized to know," I hissed, focusing on the small computer at the bottom of the bike.
"Oh really? It doesn't sound like you aren't telling us because you can't, but because you don't want to," Adam said, and I could feel the heat beneath his words. Jumping off the other side of the bike and walking back around to their little clump, so I could stare Adam straight in the eyes. "I'd hate for you to get left behind, Seargent," I said and watched as his fists clenched.
"I'd hate for you to be abandoned, Lieutenant," He grinned, and I tried so hard not to get angry. But the rage boiling through my veins as he smirked at me led me to make the most rational decision. Bringing my knee up to hit him in the balls.
"What the hell, Amy?" Damon yelled as Adam doubled over. "Honestly? When did you get so violent?" He cried, walking up to me. Damon didn't like to believe that there was anything wrong with anyone, so what I'd done had obviously really ticked him off.
"When she put a bullet in a brain. Oh wait, wasn't it-" Sadie slapped her hand over Harper's mouth. I gave her a confused look, but she just stared at the ground.
"Look, I know I messed up, and what I did wasn't right," I started before Damon absolutely lost it.
"Wasn't right? Wasn't right? You murdered them!" He was screaming and his face turned beetroot red and Elsie had to physically hold him back. I'm sure if she hadn't he would have straight-up pinned me to the ground right then and there.
"Private!" I yelled, hating how my voice turned cold and commanding. "Calm down!"
"No! I am on a death trip with a killer. I will not calm down, because I don't want to die!"
"I'm not going to hurt you!" I retorted, trying to stop my hands from quivering.
"I bet that's what you said to-" Damon said before I crumpled to the ground. Murderer. Killer. Murderer. Killer. I was drowning in self-hate and my body was reacting as such, by completely shutting down. Shaking from my head to my spine, a feeling of anxiety ran down my back, heavy and sticky like syrup, coating my muscles and making me feel sick. Pulse quickening, pulsing beneath my skin. A horrible ringing sound and a symphony of hurtful words echoing around my skull, drumming so hard I felt like my head was going to split open. My chest felt like it was closing in on itself, squeezing the air out of my lungs. I lifted my clammy hands to try and clamp them over my ears, but they found a place pulling my hair instead, nails digging into my scalp. I thought I could hear Damon screaming my name, but it was drowned out by the wave of dizziness that rushed through me, and I gagged. Good thing I hadn't eaten that sandwich earlier, but I was still dry heaving, and my eyes burned with the threat of tears. I knew it wasn't real. I knew that this was just another episode. But why couldn't I calm down? I tried to slow my shaky breaths, but all that did was made me gasp for air, and I could feel their eyes on me and their words in my ears and hands on my arms, gripping my wrists and moving up to my shoulders and-