Stand By Me

Chapter Ten

Niall wakes up to the sound of heavy rain tapping against the window. He squeezes his eyes shut for a moment, tugging the duvet away from his face, waiting for the sound of his door slamming open and cracking against the wall, for Paul's demands for him to get out of bed, for the painful grip around his ankles before he's yanked to the floor.

But...nothing. The rain continues to tap and he takes a deep breath, feeling oddly calm for a moment before his ribs begin to throb and his face aches and the events of the day before take all the air away from him.

He opens his eyes and leans up on his elbows, sleep-hazed vision grazing around the room for a moment; it's dull, the lack of early morning sunlight convincing him that it must still be night for a moment until his gaze lands on the digital clock on the desk adjacent to the bed that reads 06.45 in blinking red lights. He stares at it before he falls back against the bed, regretting the action when pain flairs through his torso again.

He swallows it down and rolls onto his back, gaze refocusing on the bars of the bunk above him. He expects to hear Harry's gentle snores but instead, the sound of plates and bowls clattering and light conversation from downstairs catches his attention. He hears a laugh and it makes his chest feel heavy — usually when he sleeps at Harry's and hears the sounds of what a family should be, he feels longing.

But now Zayn and Louis are his legal guardians, if only temporarily, and as much as that makes him feel relieved and warm, it also sends a pang through his heart because Paul is in jail and his mother is gone; she could be in danger or Paul could have hurt her or...she could have just left him. Abandoned him. He feels selfish when he finds himself wishing for it not to be the latter.

Everything feels bad when he wants it to feel good. This is what he's always wanted, to be part of this family that has always shown him love in a way that he's never received before. Only, he isn't really a part of this family anyway, is he? Because his own mother hates him and Paul hates him and he's never really understood why, but he knows that there has to be a reason. He's useless, and he's sure that everyone in this house will see that eventually too.

That thought, of course, makes him feel guilty. The Maliks' have never been anything less than inviting to him, to compare them to the likes of his stepfather would be insulting. They're good people and Niall...he's not. Or at least, he doesn't feel like he is.

He rolls back onto his side, facing the wall and curling in on himself slightly, one arm cushioned beneath his head and the other wrapped around his sore stomach. He knows it's a school morning but he doesn't even have his uniform; it isn't one of the things he thought to pack when he'd left (and had that only been yesterday afternoon?), so he knows that Zayn or Louis will have to drive him to that house to pick it up and then he'll have to go in late and probably mess up their plans for the day, and —

His eyes land on his phone, half tucked beneath his pillow, and his declining thoughts spiral to a halt. He'd tried to call his mother's number when he'd gone to the bathroom at the station yesterday, but there hadn't been an answer. He decides to try again now; and he doesn't know why, because he isn't sure if he even wants to speak to his Mum.

But he wants to know that she's safe because he still loves her and he thinks that maybe, even if he made her hate him, she must still love him somewhere deep down. Maybe she's worried about him, and now that Paul is gone, she'll be better and they can be a real family. No matter how much he wants to live with the Maliks' and be a part of something he's never truly had before, his mother will always be his flesh and blood, he'll always love her. Even when he thinks that he shouldn't.

So he taps on her contact, eyes squinting at the brightness of the phone screen, tapping on the speaker icon and waiting.

There aren't even any dial tones. Instantly, an automated voice fills the room. "This number has been disconnected," it says. His heart does a weird jump in his chest and he swallows down the rising fear, tears filling his eyes.