It's a dog's life

11

Daryl stabbed his knife into the wood of the log he was sitting on, again and again, but it wasn't enough. He got up and kicked the big log, grunting at the pain that shot through his side but he welcomed it.

The little girl was dead. She had been dead from the beginning and he had been a damn fool, going looking for her, thinking that he was going to find her and what? Be a hero? Him? He was nothing. He should have found her that first day, the day she ran away. He was supposed to be good at tracking, wasn't him? But he had lost her trail. He was good for nothing.

How he could have been such an idiot.

Daryl kicked the log again, blinking and sinking his nails into his palms hard when he felt tears burning in his eyes. Why did he care anyway, Sophia wasn't her kid, it shouldn't hurt like this, but it did. He had been a fool thinking he could find Sophia and he'd been a fool letting himself care for those people, for that damn dog and Y/N, for Carol, and now it seemed too late to stop, no matter he'd tried to distance himself from everyone.

Carol had come, acting all like she cared for him, like he hadn't failed her, like he hadn't lost her little girl. Daryl had lashed out, making her cry and flinch away from him, and when Daryl thought about the things he'd said to her, it was like a punch to the gut.

But he hadn't wanted to hear her, he hadn't wanted her close, nor Carol nor anyone. He didn't want to care anymore. He wanted to be alone again. It was better. And his brother had been right, he was nothing for those people, not until they needed him for something they didn't want to do themselves, like Lori.

Damned were all of them, he didn't want nothing to do with them anymore. Didn't think the group was going to last long together anyway, with all the shit, secrets and lies that were going on.

Suddenly there was a noise, something getting trapped in the wire he had tied around the perimeter of his little camp, making some can tops rattle together. He yanked his knife off the log and rushed towards the sound.

He scoffed when he saw Cole trying to break free from the wire he was trapped in, but the more he tried the more stuck he was. He whined and looked at Daryl.

"What you doing here, uh?" He muttered, helping the dog until he was free. "Careful, there are traps beside the wire." He said to the air, louder, knowing Y/N probably wasn't far from her dog.

Daryl looked around and made her silhouette in the darkness, approaching, clutching her gun. She tiptoed through the wire carefully, grimacing at one of the dead squirrels that hung there, and joined Daryl and Cole.

"Why'd you come to such a creepy place all alone."

"Cos I don't want to see any of you anymore! I'm tired of all you! I want nothing to do with any of you anymore!" Daryl lashed out angrily, getting on her face. "So take the dog and leave me alone, I don't want you here. Get out!"

Y/N looked down, biting her lip, and Daryl knew he had hurt her. It felt like a punch but that didn't stop him from keeping glaring at her. He needed her to leave, he couldn't have her around anymore, it had only made him weak, he had to be alone.

"You can be such a prick, Daryl."

The softness of her voice took Daryl aback. He had expected Y/N would glare at him, snap, turn and leave. Or maybe that she'd yell at him in anger for being an asshole, or that she'd told him he was an idiot, that she hadn't cared for him to begin with, that he was good for nothing. He knew she had a temper. He even expected that maybe she would push him or hit him, no matter she'd said she'd never do that not even when he was a prick. But she just seemed tired and sad, and it made Daryl feel even worse.