Singing Through Siren Sounds MxM (Staten Krown

3

Scars.

They were all over my body still from the night that Coin died. Officer McHenry wanted me to stop my phone camera when I turned it on. He made me do it. He slammed me on the concrete.

I still have the scars. Sounds. Echoing chambers of deep straining cries. I'd never forget the sound of Coin reaching over the dashboard. He's reaching for his license. The cop, Officer McHenry was tall, lean tall...blonde with dark brown eyes that had this real intensity to them. I remember the intensity when they looked over at Coin. How had I not noticed the resemblance?

"Hey I've been texting your phone man," Wren says when I walk into the room, "They got this new movie coming out. We definitely should go see it. We can go tomorrow. Or...wait...why you looking at me like that? Not a movie person? Damn. Wait. Are you OK? You good D?"

Tears were welling up in my eyes. I thought it would be hard to see Wren again but when I look at him now I just see his father. I see the intense eyes that pulled the gun when he saw Coin reach for his license.

Then all of a sudden I remember the voice barking all these orders.

"Put your hands on the dashboard. Put your hands on the steering wheel. Don't move. Put your hands up. Didn't I say NOT TO MOVE! What are you doing! What are you doing!"

Then I remember the shot. Coin hadn't been doing anything. Coin was trying his best to follow the confused instructions of what this man was telling him to do. Wren talking frantically in this moment reminds me of what his father had done. And it all comes back to me and before I know it I'm a fucking mess.

And this white boy has the nerve to walk up to me and put his hand on my shoulder, "You OK?"

"Get the fuck off of me," I state.

I circle around. All my defenses are up. He might think I'm weak because I'm crying but that's not the case. I'm angry. These are tears of anger. And sometimes when you're angry that's when the most tears come out. We face off in the room in the next few moments looking at one another as though we were strangers. This is the same boy who I'd spent a ridiculous amount of time getting to know in the last few weeks.

"What'd I do?"

"You're McHenry's son..."

He pauses.

There is this small inch of me that was hoping somehow the Guidance counselor had her signals crossed and it was all some big mistake. But when I bring it up, I can see the reaction on his face. It's this shocked reaction. An "Oh shit" reaction. He's so handsome, just like Officer McHenry. I remember when McHenry shot coin my first reaction to his expression was like that should be a more ugly face. Stupid perfect man can't even make an ugly face.

That's exactly how I feel about his son in these moments.

"I can explain."

"No need. You think this was some sort of joke?" I ask him, "You REQUESTED to room with me. You lied to me this entire time."

"I didn't lie. I never lied. I didn't tell you who I was but I never lied."

I'm disgusted with him. He wanted to play semantics right now as though I wasn't the victim of his father's hate crime. As though I wouldn't have to live with the memory of Coin's death for the rest of his life. It all made sense now why his friends were reacting the way they did to me. All of Andrew's slick remarks made sense too.

And I look at him with a formal disgust, "I'm requesting a room change you crazy son-of-a-bitch. Stay the fuck away from me."

I want to say more. I want to say so much more but I know my emotion was coming back to me and the last thing I was going to do was make the son of Officer McHenry see me in a moment of weakness.