I Still Don't Get It

It's Over

You left me with a hole in my heart and this pain feels like it will never heal. I feel my heart shatter at the thought of how I thought you would never leave me, at the thought of how I think I can't live without you, I have somehow made you my oxygen and you have made me your phone, television, radio etc all the things you can live without but love having them because they make you feel happy and give you laughs we call them entertainment and it seems that's all I was to you "Entertainment"
I gave you my heart and my soul and trusted you with my all and you still left.
When you left I felt my mind shrinking from disappointment and disbelieve and I felt my heart sink in the tears rushing down my face it felt like I was holding your hand so tight all along, nothing in me was prepared to let you go but I still stupidity watched you let go of me whilst you made excuses on top of excuses, I should have seen it coming but here I am crying for whats gone, crying for whats never coming back

It's funny how I never stopped loving you maybe it's because of how you made me feel, how you touched me, how you kissed all my problems away :) bye bye anxiety.. Etc. You made me feel like I was on ecstasy or methamphetamine or cocaine I was always excited to see you, a euphoric sense of ecstatic. It felt like you had me on some spell.
I was so infatuated with the thought of us, with the thought of having you in my life forever and I was so infatuated with us having a happy ever after.
Before I met you I didn't even believe in true love I feel so brainwashed. You made me believe in forever, you made me think we can't live without each other.
I was so deep in your spell that I had forgotten who I was before we met, who I was apart from you, in short I have literally lost my mind.

But weirdly as much as I still love you, I don't want you back, the thought of how easy it was for you to leave made me feel so outrageous, bitter, pissed, annoyed,furious as cross as two sticks and it showed me that you didn't love me as much as I thought you did or as much as I loved you and I'm low-key grateful that it's over.

Feel free to leave a comment and also don't forget to vote

I have a few song suggestions thats helped me overcome this painful heartbreak
:) Giveon - vanish
:) Jorja Smith - Teenage fantasy
:) Nasty C - You played yourself
:) Sabrina Claudio - Hurt people
:) Trippie Redd - Who needs love
:) Xxxtentacion -Fuck love

Leave a suggestion of song that you think would help someone else overcome a break up

Just a reminder :(
Know your worth
Never settle for bull**#t
And we all deserve happiness even and it doesn't always come from relationships.

I love you all and I'm so grateful that you are reading this. ❤️