True Wonders

Chapter 4

"Brody James Collins!" my mother screams, "Don't you dare come into this house at a time like this and show your mother such blatant disrespect. Yes, you weren't there, and I'm sorry about that but you have no idea what it's like to have your sick child begging for you not to tell his brother to worry. Your brother is gone Brody, and it's okay to be upset because it hurts, but you will be respectful."

The anger is replaced by another wave of guilt. "I'm sorry," I mumble.

I leave the room and remember Genesis is still in my bedroom, "Did you hear any of that?"

"Yeah, but I understand. Things like this are difficult," she says, "I lost my best friend Maeve in high school to a car accident."

"I'm so sorry Gen," I say, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Brody, it's fine," she smiles, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not yet, but thank you." I say appreciatively.

Late in the evening, I had trouble falling asleep. I got up and started wandering the house like I used to, walking around quietly so I wouldn't wake Genesis or my parents. I stop in front of Aiden's bedroom door, contemplating whether or not I am strong enough to go inside. This seems like the only form of closure that I am ever going to get. I place my hand on the doorknob and turn it slowly, the door creaks. The room was undisturbed, so I just stood there. I look around the room and my eyes wander to the desk. I walk over to his desk, I look at it and there was a note attached to something in the corner. 

Brody -

I didn't lose my marbles.

I will always be your brother,

- Aiden

I hold the bag of marbles close to my chest and sat on his bed. I was overcome with emotion and the sobs began to flow after supressing them for so long. This is the most pain that I have ever felt in my entire life. This just isn't fucking fair.

"Brody?"

"Gen." I breathe.

She came and sat on the floor at my feet, "I brought something to show you that might help."

There was a picture in her hands, her with firey hair and another woman who she later told me was Maeve. She told me about the person Maeve was as if I had grown up with her as well. I eventually joined Genesis on the floor and our hands touched. Niether one of us pulled away, I looked at her in her bright dark blue eyes. Genesis understood me on a deeper level than I had ever realized. I got lost in her eyes, mesmerized by another person who is this kind. I drew closer to here in this vulnerable state. I was surprised when she kissed me. I was even more surprised when I kissed her back.

The next morning we prepared for Aiden's funeral. I was tired and my eyes were red from crying so much that I didn't think I could cry anymore. I was supposed  to speak today and I honestly have no idea how I am going to make it through. As much as it makes me feel horrible, I am still angry at my parents, and I am angry at Aiden for asking them not to tell me he was sick.

"Brody! Time to go!" My father calls, I take a deep breath and stare at myself in the mirror before going down to the car. I wasn't ready for all of this.

"Ladies and Gentlemen," says our church pastor, "We are here today to celebrate the young life of Aiden Matthew Collins, whose life was tragically cut short by a battle with illness." he continues on, "The family wanted this to be a meaningful service for us all, so in lieu of my speaking, Aiden's brother, Brody, has some words for us."

Genesis squeezes my hand as I rise and head for the front of the church. I pause in front of Aiden and say a prayer for him to myself before turning around to deliver my speech. I look at Genesis and speak as if we were the only two in the room because that somehow took the pressure of me.

"My brother Aiden was a remarkable individual," I begin, "He was full of life, and full of hope. I have learned more from Aiden in thirteen years than I have in all my years of schooling." This got some laughs and I continued on, "Aiden had one of the best spirits  I have ever seen in a person and it is unfair that he only got thirteen years on this earth." The anger rises in me as I continue, "He had so much pain throughout his life and yet he only got more suffering. What kind of God allows a child to experience that kind of suffering?" There were gasps from the crowd as I apologize and run out.

I didn't get far before I heard the click of heels chasing after me, at first I thought it was my mother, but as per usual it was Gen. I don't think my parents have the strength to support me through this. I mean, I found out my brother died in a five-minute phone call. Fuck the pain, I am all alone in the world now. Everything I held dear in this world is gone, there is no happiness left for me now.

"Brody, wait." she demands.

I turn around to look her in the eyes and hold her hands, with my voice wavering, "I just can't do this right now Gen, I'm sorry."

Then, I turn on my heels and walk out the door, unsure of where I am headed.