I'd been treading on Earth for long now,
Growing, living, fighting, breathing and surviving.
But, when I stare at the mirror, I'm scared -
I don't wanna be older, but beat the hate in my youth.
The wrinkles on my forehead
are emblems of my superficial existence -
But, the makeup kit is still kept neat and clean on the dressing table,
Who knows, a potion might make me younger
So, I'll put on the lipstick, to look like the '90s Monroe again?
Mom told me to live gracefully -
Dad suggested for a financial independence,
But I was so naive, I never understood
their words,
Only until age struck it's sharp weapons on me -
So, I could then, with clarity, see ;
what awaited for me, in this world of nepotism and misery.
When I was younger, I exaggerated my energy on outgoing stuffs,
Now, I'm more stuck to the rocking chair, with The New York Times.
To stare out of the window, I see little children on the meadows,
Running, skipping, jumping and falling,
How I wish I could do so too,
But, my poor soul with it's weak bones, is unable to do so.
I'm scared to grow old, lose my lover -
Fold up, stay at the cathedral aisle, crying,
The birds won't chirp anymore,
The banquet halls would be empty,
I'll be tired, holding my soul for submission to the Almighty,
I'm scared to grow old, see my hands trembling,
See my hair turning into grey strings of eternity,
Rejuvenation is not really of any help :
For I'd never be able to walk down the staircase, unlike my youth.
I'd hope for years, to find a remedy to never age,
But, my attempts failed and went in vain ;
No medication, no surgery -
Would make me a happy 'twenties lady'.
I'll be stuck here, in this little cabin,
With too many ailments,
Counting my days for the train to paradise,
While feeling my identity fading away,
Fighting hatred and pain, that I'd faced as a younger lady.
- Anurima Mukherjee
P.S. - This poem is a dedication to those people who are scared of growing old and feel the youth fading away.
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Calcutta Calling
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