Back In My Arms

085

llysa

i sighed and stood up. rosie looked up to me. "saan ka pupunta?"

"dyan lang." simpleng sagot ko. as much as possible, i don’t want anyone to know i’m going to him. ayoko nang inisin nila ako.

"sama!" she shouted, insisting to come with me.

i laughed and shook my head. "wag na. ayan na si jimin oh." i teased her. inirapan niya ako.

i walked down the hallways hanggang sa makarating ako sa dance studio na sinasabi ni jake.

napapikit ako.. i heaved a sigh. muli akong dumilat at binuksan ang pinto.

this is it.

for clarifications. for the questions that were never answered. sa lahat ng mga dapat sabihin. para lang makahinga ng maluwag. maka-bawas sa sakit... i’ll do things that i may not be able to do again. just for the last time.

i smiled and stormed in the studio. you can do it, lallysa! tell him everything and leave! it's now or never.

i saw him facing the big wall mirror.. he maybe saw me through it. his lips rose up and faced my direction. "you came..." he softly mumbled.

i gently sat in front of him. "why?"

he moved closer.. closer enough.

"did you ignored my messages?" he asked.

napamaang ako.. "y-yes.." i sighed in defeat. i have to be honest. clarifications nga, llysa diba?

he looked straight to my eyes. "you deleted my number?"

nanlaki ang mata ko. paano niya nalaman yun? nanatiling sarado ang bibig ko. walang balak sumagot. but...

"yes, i did.." napayuko ako. "why?"

i looked up and faced him. i can't count how many times I sighed.. "i..."

llysa.. come on.. tell him.

tumayo ako. he was a bit startled on my actions but later on stood up too.

my fist closed.

"i love you."

his doe-like eyes widened.. jake's lips parted a bit.

now or never, llysa.

"i still love you, jake! my feelings were never gone..." sigaw ko sa kanya. it felt relieving. para akong nasa kalagitnaan ng hindi ko alam na lugar at naglalabas lang ng sama ng loob, ng matagal kong itinago, ng mga kinatakutan kong ilabas.

let it out, llysa.

"until now, since then, it has always been you.. ikaw lang..." nakapikit na ako. this is so embarrassing. this is so awkward. but i have to let everything out.

do it. one last time.. just try. what if he'll finally accept my feelings?

what if not?

you still tried.

i opened my eyes and moved closer and closer. till there's only an inch left between us. he's still shocked... did he honestly think that i can easily lose my feelings lalo pa’t bumalik siya?

it’s now or never.

at least i got a chance to kiss him.

i moved my face closer and brushed my lips against his. it lasted seconds.. his eyes closed. but then i let it go. i smiled at him and turned my back.

i did it. i fucking did it.

one kiss, i'm done.