What Really Happened: A Memoir from the Apocalypse

Chapter 8: Flee

I held my face in my palms and caught my tears. Panic attacks kept me up the night before.

Carl stood by the door. "Is it your mom or what happened last night?"

"Both," I said. "We're all gonna wind up like them. We're losing too many people. We're not gonna be able to come back from it."

He was silent for a moment. "It's my fault he's gone. I saw the walker who killed him, and I did nothing about it. I didn't kill it when I should've."

"It's not your fault, Carl. We all thought we could rest here, that this place could be safe. Then something happened. It always will. There's no escaping it. The people telling us to have hope are gonna lose it themselves. Dale cared about us. He helped take care of us when nobody else could. But he had hope; and now he's gone."

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The front door swung open as the group brought their bags into the house.

Andrea pat my head. "I'm taking the corner over there. You can sleep on that couch next to me."

"Maggie said I could sleep in her room," I said.

She walked into the kitchen. "You gave her a room before asking me first?" she asked Maggie.

"I'm just trying to help you," Maggie said.

"Help me?"

"Do you have any idea how many times she's had to ask where you were? Her mom died, and you left her. Carl got shot, and you weren't here. You were sitting on top of the RV with a bottle of wine, like you're above it all, but you're not."

Andrea scoffed. "If you had any idea about the shit I've been through—"

"You were gone too many times. She's been through enough. You asked Glenn to keep an eye on her. Maybe that was supposed to stop when you got here. But it didn't. You wanna watch after her, start acting like it."

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I tossed and turned in the bed and stared into the dark room, unable to close my eyes. I heard the door of Lori and Carl's room open, and someone walk downstairs. I slid out of bed and tried not to wake Maggie up. I cracked open the door, walked into Carl's room, and laid next to him.

When I opened my eyes, he wasn't there. I ran down the stairs. "I don't know where Carl is. He must've gotten out when I was asleep."

"What?" Lori asked before running up the stairs.

Most of the adults were outside.

Andrea saw me from out the door and hurried to me. "It's gonna be okay."

I tilted my head at her, then moved closer to the window. At least fifty walkers were headed straight towards us, towards the barn.

My heart dropped in my chest. "What are we gonna do?"

"Stay inside. We're gonna shoot them away."

Lori ran down the stairs frantically, saying she couldn't find Carl.

Andrea hurried out the door.

"I need to go with you!" I said.

She turned towards me and shook her head.

"I can't stand by while this is happening! I have to see it! I have to help!"

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The porch was crowded with most of the group. I measured the distance from the start of the closest walkers to the two trees on the left side of the barn. They were getting closer.  Maggie handed out guns to everyone, except me.