Chapter 1 Leaving it Behind

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"I'm leaving"

"What? You don't mean that!" Shelly retorted into the phone from the other end. "I do actually, I'm going to a different state, and I need your help." I implored. "Hmmmmmm.....hmmmmmm......" I could hear the mouse of the computer clicking until finally-"Ah! Well it may not be ideal, but I have a cousin in Oklahoma. Where you going, anyway?". I shrugged and said "Appearently Oklahoma..." and I could hear her smile on the other side. The sound of computer keys echoed through the speaker and a final click of the mouse. "Okay, I just emailed my cousin, she's expecting you no later than four on Thursday,  three days enough?","More than enough. Thanks." I responded. She hesitated and scoffed quietly, stiffing a light giggle. "I must warn you, she's really nice, but-". I stopped walking, leaning my ear closer to the phone, "She's what?".

"She's really, pretty wierd!" She chuckled.

I rolled my eyes and smirked, protesting "Whatever!". "How do you plan to get there, Hope?" She asked the same question that had been poking at the back of my brain, for a while. "I'll figure it out, Shelly, I'll keep you posted...". "Okay...I'll miss ya, keep in touch, Hope! Let me know when you get there!" She insisted.  "Alright, I will, bye Shelly!" And with that, I hung up.

Oklahoma,  I thought to myself. What a small, quiet state... and I can't say I was completely wrong. From the outside, Oklahoma is very quiet,  hardly heard for anything in the news, but weather, crazy, humid, wet, dry, moist, foggy, clear, cloudy weather. Everything except for hurricanes, and even that can be occasionally questionable. How boring, my thoughts echoed, a state with nothing but feilds, and teepees, and cows.... I know now that I was wrong, not fully but mostly.

Wandering along the railroad, I went through my pockets as the steaming sun burned my skin.

A few sticks of bubblegum, a wad of paper, a hard candy, and a fluffy little ball of lint, not counting my phone. Well, I couldn't go anywhere until I had my stuff, or at least the stuff I needed. So I waited til sunset, setting off back to my house. And as the sun lined the sky in an orange lace, and the evening was set with the cheers of crickets, and cicadas throughout the dry grass patches scattered about, I entered the house quietly.

Tiptoeing softly through the house, avoiding creaky floorboards, I went to my room. Grabbing a smallish purple butterfly suitcase, I stuffed it with my pencils,  sketch pad, a few shirts i liked, all my loose change (5.67$), and picked up a loose, floppy, old purple stuffed alligator. I handled the animal with care, gently flipping it over again and again, feeling its tousled, washcloth-like material. This was my first baby toy, Oax (pronounced as 'Oaks'). My dad had given it to me when I was very small, and I would chew on it all the time, mainly the feet and the snout, that were then hardened by the slobber that had dried over time. I held the gator toy close to my chest, breathing its scent of clove and sage. I placed it into yhe case with a few other small items and zipped it up.

Stepping back out of my room, I caught sight of my mother lying motionless on the couch in the living room. A soft sound of breath came from her throat, easing the tension that had shot through my stomach. Seeing her so still made me uneasy.... Dark glass bottles were strewn across the floorboards, surrounding couch, they had taken my mother away from me. I despised those dark bottles, glass pieces pierced the floor and wall. They had come in the night and caressed my mom, shushing her, and enclosing her grief with a cloak of fog, and haze. They had come in the night, gagging her cries, with screams and had stolen the mother I knew. I see her now, comparing her to her before they grabbed her away from her natural mourning.

She used to look so bright, her hair dark blonde, her cheek bones high and her jaw squared. Now, she was dulled by that darkened cloak, her dark blonde locks sprounting bright grey, her skin sagged, and her jaw still squared, yet loose from the stretch of frowning.

I carefully lifted her eyelid,  her eye staying still. She was out cold, she wouldn't awake til morning. I wiped her sweaty forehead gently with a rag I hsd seen on the couch, and I caressed her cheek. Her breaths were short and almost silent. I walked to the back room checking the jar mom always kept in her sock drawer.  A wad of rolled cash lay in the jar, quietly staring me down. I grabbed it and counted, gaping at the chuck of green. Around five-hundred dollars,  I set two hundred back in the jar and closed it. Rent wasn't that expensive,  and she wasn't saving for anything. 

Not that I knew of...

I stuffed it in my pocket,  slid on my favorite black, wool-interior jacket, and grabbed my sneakers. Before walking out of the house, I hovered over my mom. I wrote a note on an old recite and placed a light kiss on her forehead. Walking out into the setting sun, I headed for the train station.

Using fifty of the three hundred, I got a one way ticket to Oklahoma, not knowing what to expect. As I sat in my seat I watched as the sun waved goodbye, leaving a trail of violet, orange and a settling indago. And as the stars shown their face to me, and the train began to roll,

I didn't look back.

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