UNSAID / HOOD

01

VIOLET LOCKHART

-

"Please don't go." was something that I could never say to Calum before he left, before he had to go through airport security, I pulled on the edge of his t-shirt, looking down on the ground so he wouldn't see me crying. He turned around and looked at me, an expression filled with sorrow on his face. I didn't say anything out loud, by what I was doing, I wished he had stayed with me. It was a selfish thing to do, so I didn't say it but as he vanishes in the crowd, I dropped to the ground and my eyes were covered with tears. And if he didn't go, maybe things will be different now.

-

There he left, with his bass guitar case on the right and a backpack on the left, watching him leave was the hardest thing that I've ever done, and I shouldn't have. He was going to be all across the country, on the other coast, and all I could do, was stay and try to work two jobs to keep our little Williamsburg apartment warm and alive for him to get home. We were barely affording the place before, and had just saved the right amount for Calum to stay in a motel, or maybe crash on a few friend's couch for the next six month and to have at most, one warm meal everyday.

"When I make it, I'll be back, I'll bring you with me and the world will be in my palm." He said repeatedly before he left, "Violet, I swear I'll make it, you've been slumming it with me in Williamsburg for two years now, I swear it would be worth it."

Deep down, I knew I didn't need him to make it, all I needed was to be with him, someone that made me feel like home, someone that found me and fixed me when I was lost and broken.

"I love you." I would just reply, smiling as he pulls me in closer for a kiss and I would press my head against his chest, life wasn't the best living in Williamsburg but I was thankful for everything I've got.

When Calum was away, the house that we both use to whine about being too small seemed a bit too empty and big for me, and every single inch of the apartment reminded me of him. Other than the occasional phone calls we had every few weeks, the occasional update on what was happening that comes every month, that was it.

It was six months since he'd been away and I felt like a huge part of me was missing, I couldn't breathe nor I could think straight about what was happening with me, I didn't have anyone to go to when I needed someone to talk to, all I had was myself.

And here's the thing about distance, if you didn't deal with it properly, you'll drift apart from each other, no matter how much you loved them before, when they were gone, nothing would matter anymore and all you had to hold on are memories.

Without Calum, I will still be living on Broadway street, passing out flyers to tourists and sleep in closed newsstands for a buck a night, taking care of my hygiene needs in hotel lobby bathrooms, but he found me, when I was getting out of the newsstand at five in the morning, he was walking to his morning shift to McDonald's and he saw me.

"What is a girl like you doing here in a newsstand, this early in the morning?" As soon as he saw I didn't answer, he slightly frowns and gave me a concerned look, "Are you okay?"

He told me to wait there, and five minutes later, he came back with a big of McDonald's.

"How long haven't you ate?" He asked as he watched me shoved mouthful of food in my mouth, and washing it down with hot chocolate, "Napkin?"

"Yes, thank you," I replied, he didn't pass me the napkin, instead he wiped my mouth for me like a mom doing it for her toddler, "And, like twenty six hours if the pop tart I ate yesterday morning didn't count."

His eyes widened as he heard me say that, I could still remember the expression on his face till this day, "Why don't you eat or, to be more precise, where do you live?"

I swallowed what I had in my throat and took a deep breathe, "I'm homeless."

He had someone else take his shift that day as we just walked around New York City, and talked. I told him everything, everything that happened leading up to that point, and he told me his stories, the good ones, the bad ones, everything. At the end of the day, we ended it up in front of the newsstand again and the guy I was renting it from was about to close for the day.

"So," He broke the silence, "You're going back for another night?"

I nodded and smiled sourly, "Like every night for the past few weeks."

He frowned at the newsstand and opened his mouth, trying to say something, but didn't. I shrugged as I gave him a hug and opened the door to the newsstand and just when I was about to enter, he stopped me.

"Hey, if you don't mind, do you want to come live with me, I know, it sounds a little a crazy, like, why would you trust a stranger you just met and-"

"Yes."

Calum looked at me, shocked, "You're just going to go home with a guy you just met?"

"Well it can't be worse than how I'm living now, and plus," I added, "You're the only person who asked if I was okay for the past four weeks on the streets."