Shadow and Stars

Four

"Cam?"

A gentle hand shakes my shoulder, and I jerk awake. "Huh? What is it?" I grumble, wiping my bleary eyes.

"It's just me," my dad says, lifting my stretched-out legs and sitting down, resting them on his lap. "Are you okay?" he asks after letting me wake up for a moment. 

I sit up, pulling the cat-shaped throw pillow I've had since I was a kid over my stomach and clutching it. "Not really," I whisper, glancing up to meet his knowing gaze.

He nods, patting me on the leg, his pale hand a sharp contrast to the crescent-shaped birthmark on my calf. "I figured as much. What's going on?" His voice is full of concern, laced with a sadness I hated to hear, one that had become all too familiar in recent months.

I take a deep breath before saying, "Levi broke up with me."

"What?" Dad exclaims, his blue eyes widening behind his reading glasses. "When did that happen? Why?"

My father and Levi have always gotten along well, and that is one reason I waited to tell him; I knew it would break his heart almost as much as mine. "He thinks I cheated on him. He said he saw me kissing another guy at school the other day," I say, the words tangling on my tongue and giving me cottonmouth.

Dad's eyebrows furrow and he cocks his head to the side. "That doesn't sound like the Camryn I know." He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a piece of candy in a familiar burgundy wrapper—the Crescent Hotel soft peppermints I love so much.

I shake my head, and take the mint from his outstretched hand, tears sliding down my cheeks. "It isn't, Dad. I didn't kiss anyone else...I don't know what he saw, but he won't even talk to me about it."

I bury my face in my hands; I am so tired of having this conversation because I don't know how to explain myself; everything I say sounds made up. The peppermint clutched in my palm invades my senses and even as my tears fall faster, my entire body settles.

Dad pulls me into his arms and holds me close, letting me cry for a few minutes. When my sniffles subside, he asks, "Is that why you cheated on your chemistry test?"

A squeak leaves my throat and I sit up to look at him, but instead of anger, I see genuine concern. Will it help for me to tell him I didn't cheat, and that I knew I was going to the office before it even happened?

I already know the answer, so I do the one thing I swore I never would: blatantly lie to my father. "Yeah. I forgot to study because I was so upset, and I didn't want to fail, so I tried to take the easy way out. I went to detention today as punishment, and I promise it'll never happen again." I clench my teeth, hoping this will be the end of the conversation.

Dad pushes my hair off my face and kisses my forehead. "All right, baby. We'll leave it alone, but if it happens again..." His tone is serious, but I can tell he thinks I've suffered enough.

"It won't," I insist, sitting up all the way and putting my feet on the floor.

"Is there anything else bothering you?"

The crack through the windshield and the icy feeling that had washed over me this morning fly through my head, but I push them away; my dad isn't ready to have that discussion yet.

I shake my head. "What's for dinner? I didn't eat all day...too upset," I admit.

He stands and offers his hand to me. "Pizza, remember?"

School the next day isn't much better, and as I sit in at a concrete table in the courtyard during our ten-minute transition between classes, I feel like everyone is staring at me. Had Levi told everyone what I'd "done"? Based on the dirty looks I'm getting from the cheerleaders, I assume the answer to that question is yes.

At their vicious glares, I realize that perhaps I never really had any friends at all besides Rose; all the people Levi and I hung out with were clearly his friends. Who believed him when he said I was a cheater.

But as I glance around the courtyard, I see it isn't just the cheerleaders and basketball players who are watching my every move.

Sitting on a bench across from me is a tall, slender boy in my grade, but whose name escapes me. His too-long mahogany hair covers his eyes, but I can tell he's staring at me. I shift in my seat and look away, gathering my belongings from the grass as I get to my feet and walk toward the school just as the bell rings.

I feel his eyes on me as I reach for the doorknob, but when I turn back to give him my best frightening stare, he's gone.