Shadow and Stars

Fifteen

Julian was more than willing to take a trip to Sunny Acres Retirement Village later that afternoon. In fact, it had been his idea to go now instead of waiting another day.

"I don't know if they're even open," I'd argued, not ready to hear whatever unbelievable story was coming our way.

But Julian was ready with a comeback. "I've already called. Visiting hours are until 8:00 pm. Let's go."

"Why are you so persistent?"

"I'm really not; you just can't resist me."

I start to tell him that isn't even close to the truth, but I realize it is actually more accurate than I've even admitted to myself.

Walking into the nursing home is creepy; not that I find old people scary or anything, but everything in there is just so...still. It's late on a Monday afternoon, but it's silent, almost as if they're trying not to awaken some malevolent spirit.

"Excuse me," Julian says to a woman at the nurses' station in the middle of the building where the labyrinth hallways of the facility converge.

"Yes, how can I help you?" she asks, her voice warmer than I'd expected judging from her no-nonsense, Nurse Ratched exterior.

"We're looking for her great-grandma, Pearl Mayes? We think she's in the dementia wing?"

She looks surprised for a moment before nodding. "Th-that's correct. Miss Pearl is down the far hall in room 5602."

"Why do you look so surprised?" I blurt before I can stop myself.

The nurse's face flushes, and she shuffles some papers around on her desk. "My apologies. It's just...no one has been to visit Miss Pearl in quite some time...years, even. I was just a little taken aback, that's all."

The knowledge that no one has been to visit one of my relatives in years while she sits all alone in a nursing home makes me sad, and I feel a twinge of shame. Even if I didn't know about her, I still feel like I could've done more.

But Julian speaks up before I can spiral too far. "What should we expect when we go in?"

"She's having an okay day today, so she will at least be lucid. She likely will not know who you are, but she shouldn't be in any distress or pain. Just be quiet when you go in, introduce yourself, and act natural," she says in a gentle voice, like she can sense the nervousness in the pit of my stomach.

She won't know who I am because I never knew she existed before today. My heart constricts, and all I can manage is a small, "Okay."

We turn to go when the nurse says, "Wait, one more thing. There are days that she thinks she's seventeen years old again."

Julian and I share a glance and take a deep breath in unison before continuing to the far end of the hall.

"You okay?" Julian asks as we get closer to room 5602, and I don't miss the way his hand brushes against mine as he stops me from walking any further.

I nod, blowing a long breath out through my nose. "I'm good. Let's do this."

The woman sitting in the wheelchair in front of the window is small, her brown skin so wrinkled and thin that she looks like she's covered in tissue paper. The shock of hair on the top of her head is white, and I am surprised at how thick it looks. She was beautiful once; I can tell by the way her eyes sparkle when she looks up from her lap, the hazel in them nearly identical to mine.

Her voice is little more than a whispering breath when she says, "Luna?"

Once again, I feel something inside my chest clench, and it's only when Julian squeezes my hand do I speak. "No, I'm not Luna. I'm Camryn, your—" I start to say great-granddaughter, but then I remember what the nurse said, and I have no idea what kind of day this woman is having. "I'm actually here to ask about Luna."