If Only He Knew

I Couldn't Unlove

On this cold Friday night, I spent it studying in an empty library that only contains me, and none other than Tsukki.
He's so breathtaking.
He's got me so mesmerized.
I look at the clock and notice it's close to 3 in the morning. I let out a sigh, pack my stuff then start to put some of the books I borrowed from the shelves away.
"Seems like going had the same idea?" The sudden oh-so familiar voice made you jump, nearly falling forward.
"Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to scare you." Tsukki says with a small chuckle.
He's so cute.
"I-It's okay... I'm okay." You let out a nervous laugh.
You head back over to the table that holds your stuff and start to reach for your jacket, but as soon as your hand touches the chair, you start to violently cough suddenly.
Yellow petals start to escape as you cough even harder, losing your balance from how violent and breath taking the coughing it. You fall onto your knees,, knocking the chair down as well.
Your vision becomes blurred from tears that take your vision. It hurts.
This is the worst you have ever felt.
Then it hits you... It's time.
Tsukki hears the commotion and runs over to you. Comforting you as best he can, eyes filled with pity and worry. As soon as you're allowed to breath with what air you have left, he holds you on his lap and in his warm arms.
You just smile at him, enjoying how comfortable you are in the love of your life's arm.
You start to cry.
"Y/N—," He starts, but you stop him with a shh.
"... You're so handsome Tsukki," you start, while choking on a sob, staring into his glossed over beautiful golden-brown eyes, "Why would you ever kiss me? I'm not even half as pretty. You gave her your sweater. It's just polyester, but you like her better. Wish I were—." You finish your unfinished sentence with a sad smile, as your last breath escapes your body. Leaving your lifeless body in his arms.
Tears break away from his eyes, falling onto your face. He pulls your closer and just sobs. Thinking about your last words. Pained by them even. Feeling at fault for he caused beautiful flowers that kill, to form in such a beautiful girl, that eventually took her breath away.
After that night, he kept a journal that was yours. It contained everything.
The pain and sadness you felt everyday, but how you were so madly in love with him. What you loved about him. How your favorite thing was his eyes.
He carried it with him and even if it hurt him, he'd read it all, over and over again.
He knew he didn't deserve the deep love you had for him, but if only he had known how much you liked him.