Emma's Six

September 1996

September 1996 

Now I have a choice to make. Do I want to continue studying at home, or do I want to return to the nursery? I find a pencil and paper so I can make a list. At the top, I write nursery and home, before splitting it into a table.  

At home, I can learn at my own pace. I am coming along in leaps and bounds with maths, and nursery might hold me back. I can study what I want; I won't get that at nursery.  

But I will make friends if I go to nursery, and that is the one thing I am missing.  

I am sitting by the window in Mum and Mummy's study. I look out to see two toddlers walking down the road with their parents. From their expressions, I can tell they are happy; they are friends. I have no one I can laugh with, no one I can share secrets with.  

I tried talking to my parents the other day about religion. It is crucial if I want to understand the six wives of Henry VIII. But Mum and Mummy told me that they didn't believe in religion, but they would help me understand what I need to know. But when we were about to start, Lavinia started talking to my parents, and she kept it up for hours. When she finished, it was past my bedtime, and I had to go to bed.  

But that wasn't the only time Lavinia kept me from talking to my parents. She keeps it up almost every day, and it is driving me nuts. Lavinia's meant to stay until September, and she checked out of her hotel a couple of months ago to stay with us. Now, Lavinia can either return to Moreton Harwood, or she can stay and continue tutoring me.  

I don't want Lavinia to teach me anymore. She talks to me like she is a superior being, and if I have any questions, she tells me to ask my parents but then hogs up all their time. I can never ask them anything, and now they rarely have time to do anything with me. I thought that Lavinia being here would help us all; but for me, it turned into a living hell. My parents are ignoring me, Lavinia tells me off whenever I try to talk to them or ask any questions.  

I don't want to be here anymore.  

I open my wardrobe and find my small blue backpack. I pick some clothes, my hairbrush and a couple of books and pack them inside before taking my bag into the back garden and shut myself in my playhouse. I will not return to the house until Lavinia leaves.  

'Emma?' Lavinia asks. 'What are you doing in there? We have a lesson.' Yes, the never-ending lessons. I hardly have any time to myself these days. Lavinia seems to teach me from morning until my bedtime, even at weekends. Why can I never have even five minutes to myself?  
'I don't want to learn.'  
'You have to, Emma. Do you want to be a child prodigy or not?' Lavinia is expecting me to come out and continue learning. Well, I do not want to become a child, whatever she said.  
'No. I want to play.' Lavinia tries to pull the door open, but I hold it as tightly as I can. 'I am not going inside. I won't!' Lavinia grabs my hand and pulls the door open. 'LET ME GO!'  
'Your parents are working; you don't want to disturb them, do you?' Now she told me where they are, and an idea starts forming in my head. I stop struggling. Lavinia lets me go, and I bolt into the house.  

I run into the study and slam the door shut. The dark wood bookshelves are crammed full of books and different objects that I never seen before. Usually, I would love to spend my time reading books, but now isn't it. I crumple to the floor and lean against it. The wood floor is cool against my warm skin, and I allow myself to start crying. 'Emma?' Mum asks. 'Oh, what happened?' She stops whatever work she is doing and pulls me into a hug.  
'Lavinia...' I sob.  
'What's going on?' Mummy asks, joining us on the floor. Lavinia knocks on the door.  

'Sarah Jane, Ruby, did Emma run in here?'  
'No,' Mum says. 'We've not seen her.' I can hear Lavinia walk away.  
'Why did you lie?' I ask.  
'We suspect something's been happening for a while,' Mummy says. She strokes my hair, and I smile for what feels like the first time in months. 'Can you tell us what's going on?'  
'Lavinia won't let me play.' Mummy sighs. 'She is also stopping me from spending time with you both.' I feel tears trickling down my cheeks as I continue crying.  
'We need to sort this out,' Mum says. 'Emma can't continue like this.'  
'No,' Mummy agrees. 'You said that one of us didn't need to work, but Lavinia convinced you to return to work.' Mum nods.  
'I can quit and continue teaching Emma. If she decides she wants to return to the nursery, I can continue working part-time.' Mummy smiles.  
'How about that, Emma? Would you like that?'  
'Yes,' I say.  
'Why don't we do some art?' Mum asks.  
'Yeah!'  

'I'll help you set up,' Mummy smiles as we stand up. 'After that, I'll have to get back to work.'  
'I'll hand in my notice,' Mum says. 'Right now, our family is more important.' Mummy nods and Mum sits back at her computer.  
'Shall we go and set up in the kitchen or the dining room?'  
'Kitchen,' I say. 'It doesn't matter so much if I make a mess in there.' Mummy nods and opens the door.  

'Oh, I see you found Emma,' Lavinia says when we walk into the kitchen. I am carrying cloth to cover the table, and I am wearing a blue apron over my clothes. 'Emma, what are you wearing those for?'  
'I'm going to do some art.'  
'But we said that we would do maths today.'  
'There's been a change of plan,' Mummy says. 'Emma needs to learn a range of things, not just maths and science.' I begin setting up the kitchen table, making sure that the cloth is covering it, so I do not get any paint on the table.  
'But you love science and maths, don't you, Emma?'  
'I love history. I hate maths and science. It's too hard.'  
'The only way you can learn is-' 

'Emma is three years old!' Mum screams. 'She shouldn't know anything about maths and science yet. She already knows things beyond her age group. Isn't that enough for you?'  
'Emma could be a genius if she puts her mind to it.'  
'I don't want to be a genius; I want to be a kid. I want-' 
'That's enough of that nonsense. We are giving you the best chance we can. If you continue going to nursery, you will slip up. Someone will get suspicious and tell the authorities. You will never see your parents again. Do you want that?' I shake my head. 'We are doing this for your good, Emma.' 

It doesn't feel like Lavinia wants to help me.