Mercy | Relief

Chapter thirty-one

Chapter thirty-one •

LUCY

I look at Jeanie's hand, to her ring. It looks the exact same, except for another gold band sitting before it on her finger. I swallow hard, doing my best not to burst into tears. I am already getting so many looks from Franny and Elias, I don't need to give them anything else to pity me about.

I will not cry.

Elias helps me stand, and we all walk in the house. Franny and Jeanie are hugging, while Travis and Jared are chatting. We make it back to the table, and they all sit down. Franny tells them all to start eating, but I don't feel hungry anymore. I keep looking at Travis, wanting to tell him we need to talk, but it may not be the right moment. He just got engaged again.

Jeanie and Travis are sitting so close to each other, I might puke.

I look at Elias, who is staring at his sub on his plate. I follow his gaze, and look at his food, confused as to why he isn't continuing to eat it. Then I see his clenched jaw and narrowed eyes, and I know it has to do with me.

He was probably just as shocked to see Travis as I was. He's never seen him, but as soon as they said his name I felt him tense.

I could have been wrong. I was too shocked by the fact that he was standing in front of me to totally recognize Elias' reaction. I'm pretty sure Travis wasn't expecting me to be here either, judging by his expression.

It doesn't matter. What I feel doesn't matter. He's marrying Jeanie, again. There is no point in wishful thinking, that maybe he would see me and his feelings would change. He literally came here for Jeanie, not me.

It was never me.

You'd have thought I'd have come to that realization earlier.

Me too.

Everyone at the table is still eating, and laughing, joking. Franny and Jared don't stop asking Travis questions about his year away, and Jeanie just watches Travis, hooked on every word coming out of his mouth, explaining and answering their questions.

I want to listen too, but that would hurt. I think I need to stop hurting myself further before I become too damaged.

I can feel Elias looking at me.

He meets me eyes as I lift them to his face.

I try for a smile but it doesn't quite reach my eyes.

He nods slowly. He understands.

Or, at least, he thinks he does. I can see in his eyes he's confused, but I thought it would have been clear right now that I am still in love, with the wrong man. He must know that seeing Travis doesn't change anything.

Speaking with him won't change anything either.

But it is still something I need to do, to clear my mind and conscience, even though I thought I did when I unhypnotized him.

There are still things that need to be said, and I can't ignore them forever, and I might as well get them over with. I might just apologize to him again, but I can tell there is something else itching at me to say to him.

If it's "I still love you" I might be in big trouble.

Even if that statement is true, I don't need to tell him that.

Franny and Jeanie begin to clear the table, and the boys begin to stand.

I have to speak with Travis before I lose the guts to.