Safe & sound

13

Peter examines the new web shooters and held them over his head like Rafiki with Simba after decreeing them usable. "It's alive!" He said in a ghoulish voice. Now all he needed to do was yeet it across the lab into a crowd of wild animals who are cheering somehow.

"Do I need to cancel our reservations for your birthday tonight or will nothing kill us?" Sassed Tony

"Oh come onnnn that was one time!" Yelled Peter. "And you know I'd never make a Frankenstein! again," he added as an afterthought. "There's no way I'm going to dig up body parts from peoples graves. Why do you think we keep Harley over here around?"

"Um, rude. Second, true. I'm expendable," Harley sighed.

"Come on boys, we both know Peters the expendable one here."

"Daaaaaaaaaaaad how could you? I'm so depressed, my mentor, idol and own father says he'd get rid of me. How can I live with myself?" Peter cries and crumbles to the ground, a hand still over his forehead.

"Another father, gone. Whatever shall we do?!" Sighs Harley dramatically and fake faints, joining Peter on the floor. It created quite the spectacle.

Peter tosses his limbs into a pained and farced position, a hand over his forehead. "Die, I suppose."

Tony hides his smile when Peter and Harley called him dad and father. "You can live by cracking open the new special-made jelly beans that were reserved for your birthday, today." He said smoothly.

Peter squealed. "Where! Wherewherewherewherwwjereewjeewjerwjqejw!" He jumps in Tony's hunched back, taking the older man by surprise.

"Maybe you don't need anymore sugar." He muttered sarcastically but loud enough for Peter and Harley to hear.

"WHERE ARE THE FUCKING GLUCOSE BALLS-SHAPED KIDNEYS GIMME GIMME!" Peter screamed, panting and wide eyed at the mention of candy and he might not get any.

Tony raised his eyebrows in protest. "Um, first of all, ow, second, they're in Cupboard: #SugarHigh where the Cheetos are, jeez kid."

Peter scampers off screeching like a crow. Tony is too used to it to be confused.

Harley perked up at the mention of Cheetos. "I want sum Cheesy Cheetos gimme gimme."

Tony shook his head and rubbed his temple, muttering "when do they merge."

Then a high pitched and not uncommon scream came from the other room followed by a smash of glass. Then Bambi swore. "Fuck a nugget chicken shitting dog ass horse fucking hell!"

Tony looked up and saw the Peter sitting on the floor surrounded by spilled jellybeans, clutching his foot that seemed unharmed. Peter was also crying. Tony walked over with a smug grin.

"Oh no baby did you spill your candy?" He teased.

Peter pouted and nodded, sobbing and holding his foot. Tony drew his eyebrows together in mild concern and absolute amusement at his idiocy.

"What happened?"

"I s-stub-bed m-my toooooooee!" He cried and tony mock pouted, picking Peter up and carrying him to the stained couch, sighing in exasperation.

"Peter god dammit you literally get stabbed and break your arm and wave it off but when you stub your toe you start to sob?"

Peter curls his knees to his stomach, pouting at tony. "I also spilt my candies."

Tony rubbed his temples yet again and went back to his lonely wrench. Soon after Peter went back to being an evil scientist with aggressive intentions, being aggravated at his candy loss from earlier. And damaged pride.