Little Secrets

Chapter Forty- Six

Drakes POV

Rolling over feeling a cold spot next to me. I peel my eyes open seeing the bed completely empty. I see her bathroom door is closed I roll on my back and look up at the ceiling. Do I want to be with her forever? I think to myself. I love her. I need her but do I want her? Do I want her forever? I can't imagine life with out her. It's only been a few months and this is what we are going through. Do I need her? Do I want her? I continuously ask myself. When I hear the bathroom door open. I turn my head to look at her. She doesn't meet my eyes she just walks to the closet.

"Lilac?" I question. She doesn't respond she just closes the closet door. I sigh. I know I hurt her. But how could I answer a question that I'm not sure about. After a few minutes she comes out of the closet dressed. She walks to her vanity and starts her her hair. She puts on little to no make up before putting on her shoes. She starts grabbing her stuff to leave.

"Lilac" I say again. And she keeps doing what she's doing paying me no mind.

"Lilac please stop and talk to me." She sighs and looks over to me.

"What's do you want?" She asked in a small voice.

"I love you." I said and she nods and keep grabbing her stuff.

"Lilac."I said standing she looks back to me.

"Look Drake you do wants me. Okay I get it. You don't have to lie to me and tell me you love me when you don't see us in the long run. I get it you saw shit you didn't sign up for you got put in a situation no one should be in. I get it. And I'm sorry I did that to you. But I won't sit here and let you hurt my feelings and play with my emotions because you don't know what you feel or how you feel. Okay? So you work on you. I'll work on me. If we end up together great if we don't that cool to. But don't sit here and act like you want me and to be with me when you don't." She said as her eyes water.

"I love you. I never stopped. I need you I just... I just don't know if this is forever anymore." I spoke truefully I never intended to hurt her but I watch in her eyes as her heart shatters before me. And then her face morphs in to one i had become a custom to in that cellar. Numb. She looks away and whipped her tears before meeting my eyes again. As tear streamed down her face. And I could see the sadness take over her face.

"If that what you think is best." She responded and I didn't know what she was saying.

"What are you talking about? For the best.... what's for the best?" I responded

"We should break up. That's what you mean right because there's thing we need to figure out. And you don't want me but you need me. And if you don't want me how can you love me?" She looks down at her hands and twisted and played with her fingers.

"I didn't say I wanted to break up." I stayed firmly. "Baby I love you so much the thought of losing you hurts so much. I need you because your my heart your a piece of me. Your my sun shine on a cloudy day. My calm in the storm. Your my every thought day in and day out. Your my everything. I just need to figure out everything else." I said.

"So I'm your every thing but you don't know if we're forever. I'm your everything but you don't know if you want me. Drake how does that make since. I love you. I want you. Your literally my brain, my Heart. Sometimes I just feel like I can't live with out you. I don't know how I ever lived without you before. I know I want you. I know this is forever. I just-" she moved closer to me and wraps her arms around me

"You are my everything the oxygen I fucking breath. But you don't know if you want me. And I already know what I want. And I'm not gonna sit around waiting for you to want me and love me. You say you love me but some how I don't think you mean it." She said moving away from me. But I grab her and push my face in her neck.

"I love you. I do. I'm just trying to figure everything out baby please be patient with me. Please. I don't want to be apart from you. I just want you to be with me. Please."

"You want me to be with you. But you don't know if you want me. Make it make since Drake." She said in annoyance. I smile and kiss her neck. She tenses against me.

"I'm sorry." I said as I didn't it again and again. Before I knew it I was full on making out with her neck. "I love you." I said as I start sucking on her skin.

"Mmm" she moans as I feel her body relax in to mine. I run my hand up and down her side. Gripping handfuls of her ass and grinding my growing erection in to her.

"You love me?" I question as I lick the new mark I left on her skin.

"Mm"I smirk before moving away and laying my forehead on hers.

"You still love me?" I question baring my insecurities.

"Yes I love you." She said meeting my lips. "How could I not?" She smiles. She pulls away from me.

"I gotta go. But I'll see you later. Yeah?"

"Where you going?" I question

"To the mall I wanna go shopping clear my head." She said.

"Can I come?" I question earning a big grin from her.

"Sure but..." she moved closer to me gripping my hardened dick through my shorts. "You should probably handle this." She kissed the base for my neck and giving my cock one stroke earning a groan from me.

"Princess don't do that unless your ready for me to tear that pussy up." I spoke kissing her forehead "you wanna give me something to jerk off to?" I smirk.

"Hmm i don't know" she teased only making my dick grow harder. She acted like she was thinking tapping her chin. "No I don't think you deserve it." She said walking out her room. This woman gonna kill me damn.

She leaves the room and I make my way to the guest room. I go to my bag and rummage through it look for it. I pull out my little back of coke. I walk in to the bathroom and lock the door. I pout a little on the counter and decided it up in to lines. I snort the first line and feel the louder rush up my nose. I snort the second line before sliding down the wall. And closing my eyes waiting for my high to come. When it does. I close my eyes and feel pour energy rushing through me. I smile lazily. Before trying to get up which I fail miserably at. I lean back on the wall. Closing my eyes. Feeing all my problems fly away. Every time I do it I swear it get better. Every single fucking time I swear I feel better.

  When I finally manage to rise to my feet I walk to the shower and turn it on. I look myself in the mirror. I look different. I hadn't looked at myself in a while. I looked different. I shrug it off and get I. The shower. I scrub my body. And take care of business. I get out the shower and walk to my clothes hiding the coke in the bag. I put my clothes on and grab my shoes before lazily making my way to lilac.

  "Hey, ready to Go." He ask and I smile and nod. She kisses my cheek and I follow behind her and watch her ass the whole time.

  "Damn I love you so much." I speak.

  "I love you too." She smiled. I push her against the car and smash my lips on to hers I slip my tongue in to her mouth messaging hers. She moans in mouth as I grip her ass through her jeans. She pulls away and I start kissing on her neck.

  "Drake come on." She pants

  "Mmm" I respond

  "Come on drake stop." I smile against her skin.

  "I just miss you so much. But imma wait for you to be ready. Okay princess?" I smile pulling away. She smiles at my response. And we get in the car and take off forwards the mall.