Hopeful Melancholy

You will praise him again.

I am not interested in giving cheap responses to pain, so I hope these can at least be "reasonably priced," and point you to the One who is able to speak inordinately more lavish than I...

You will praise him again.

"Why are downcast oh my soul. Why is there turmoil within me?"
Depending on where you are right now, you might feel like you will never be happy again. Asking yourself things like:
"How will I ever live without this person?"
"How will I ever repair this relationship?"
"How will I ever pay this debt?"
"Will anyone ever love me?"
"Why do these things keep happening to me, or people I care about?"
And eventually you may say to yourself...
"I feel as though I might die, and there is no one who can fix it. In fact, if God is so good, and so powerful, he would fix this situation, or at least how I feel about it."
There it is.
The penultimate question of your story.
You don't trust Him.
And that's ok.
That is why we are here on this planet, after all...

But wait, here come the well-meaning sympathizers, throwing about toxic positivity. These cheap phrases that I won't repeat here come from a fear of your anger and sadness.

You realize that what you believed before doesn't quite work anymore.
You might be starting to think that there is not always a reason, rational, or purpose that will one day "work itself out" (in this life.)
That is ok too, and He can handle your doubt.

And you are allowed to have it.

The gospel is not behavioral modification. It will transform your heart, and renew your mind— but it not a micro chip, or magic spell that lessens your human reaction to grief. At least, not in the way society may want.

Additionally, grief and suffering have no cap— no limit —as if the story of your life were linear. Have you ever met those people? That everything just seems to work out for? If you are still reading this, I bet your life doesn't fit in a neatly wrapped bow, with an organized plot line.. a foreseeable happy ending. You know all too well that "in this life you will have trouble."

The world is broken, and you know that one day it will be renewed. Every relationship, every trauma, every bad decision, even nature itself will be made brand new.
You know this.
But you are also keenly aware that today it not that day (at least in the hour you are reading this.)

The truth is, you don't need to be happy, joyful, or thankful right now. You can be exactly where you are. One day you will be, because you are His. At the end of the day you know you hope in him, because He will not let go— even when you don't feel Him. Even when you want to be done, His grip on you is sure (though sometimes it may feel crushing.)

You will praise him again, but today, you can mourn. He is with you.

"Hope in God; for I shall again praise him."

Referenced above: Pslam 43:5, John 16:33. 🖤