𝑻𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝑮𝒊𝒓𝒍 𝑪𝒂𝒏 🥰✨

How to Cope With Bullies

Bullies. They're sadly very common in schools and are one of the reasons for suicide, self-harm, depression, eating disorders and many more. Some people are uncomfortable about this so I will try and make it positive. This chapter will cover the types of bullies and how to stop them (and no, giving them a "taste of their own medicine" doesn't help). But first, if you are being bullied, please ask yourself these questions:

✰Why is he/she hurting you?
Did you do something to provoke them? Usually, there is a reason for bullies to pick on you. If you are certain that you didn't do anything, move on to the next question.

✰Is it because of your nationality, race, gender or sexuality?*
You could just be innocent. Some people just don't like others. Maybe it's because of the way they were brought up or what they believe.

Now, onto the types of bullying. But please remember, the best advice is always telling someone. Yes, we know you've heard it from your parents, teachers, adults but it does help. If you don't want to tell a responsible adult yourself, ask your friend to tell them for you. Don't feel ready for that yet? Talk to your siblings. You don't have any? Ask your parents to get you a sibling! (I'm just kidding). You could speak to one of us! You don't have to, but we can help you.

Physical Bullying

Physical bullying is pretty much self-explanatory. For those of you who do not know what it means, it's when someone (a bully) that hurts you physically e.g. punching, hitting, slapping, kicking. But not just those. They may take away your belongings. Sometimes, bullies even take away pieces of clothing from people! (For example, pulling down someone's pants. Or giving them a wedgie). To put it bluntly, they use you as a punching bag. And I'm sure that's not enjoyable.

So you come home with cuts, bruises or missing pieces of clothing. Actually, how do you come home with something missing? Anyway, your parent(s) or carer(s) sees your injuries. They ask, "What happened?". A lot of people make excuses and say they fell over, walked into a door or lost their clothing when getting changed for P.E. Don't do that. Tell them.

How to stop being physically bullied? Tell someone. The adult doesn't believe you? Show them proof. Show them your scratches, your wedgie mark (or not), your bruises, your broken bones (ok, that's too much). You have solid proof that you've been hurt.

Cyber Bullying

Cyber bullying is when you're bullied online. Whether it's someone making hurtful comments on your posts, writing discouraging things on your stories or even just texting you unkind things, it counts as cyber bullying.

This is pretty easy to get rid of, but you play a big part in this. Usually, there's button somewhere that says "Report" and you can report that person. Don't want to? Tell a trusted adult. Ok, I know I'm nagging, but trust me, it helps.

I heard a story once, about how a girl was being cyber-bullied. Her friends told their school head teacher then they connected the girl's email to the teacher's email so the bully has been telling the teacher that he was, "Weird and ugly". Ok, that may seem extreme for you so we have other ideas. Show an adult the messages! Bully keeps deleting them? Well, technology is amazing. Screenshot! You have proof now! One point to you, zero for the bullies!

Relational Bullying

What in the world in relational bullying? Actually, this may have happened to you without you knowing it! You know that thing where someone keeps talking about a party that you're not invited to in front of you, treating you like you're invisible? Yeah, it actually has a name! Can you believe it? I never actually knew until I was told about it. This is known as relational bullying. Also, maybe not necessarily a party, but a social activity of some sort. Even something simple as you going up to a group of people at lunch, asking if you could sit there because there's no other space and they say no, "You're not cool enough".

You may think that most of these incidents are done accidentally, but actually, they're done deliberately! The person knows exactly what they're doing.

How to stop this? This is quite hard to prove, many adults think that the person is innocent and did it on accident. Well, you might have to take things into your own hands after all. You could tell the person to not talk about get-togethers you're not invited to in front of you. Or just simply avoid them whenever possible. If there's a chance of a responsible adult believing you, tell them! Siblings would be very helpful for this too, or someone around the same age as you. They would've probably experienced the same thing.

Verbal Bullying

This one hurts the most. You may think, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me" but that's not always true. Like in the song 'Invisible', I quote, "The words cut deep". This type of bullying leaves deep scars, unseen by anyone else. They hurt. Yes people say, "Actions speak louder than words", but words hurt more than actions. Hey, that should be a quote! Ok, back on topic. Why do words hurt more? Maybe because they echo around your head, taunting you all the time. Maybe because cuts, bruises and wedgie marks heal. Who knows?

You're doing an activity peacefully. A bully comes up and they sneer to you about how "ugly, weird and freaky" you are. Ignore them. You are not ugly, weird or freaky. They scoff at you and spread rumours about how "creepy, friendless and unlikeable" you are. Ignore them. You are not creepy, friendless or unlikeable. Don't let them bring you down. Stand strong. After all, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger".

Stopping this will require a tiny microphone and a camera. I'm just kidding! But if you are allowed to have your phone on in the place that you're being bullied, try voice recording the person. You see them coming towards you, quickly press the voice recording button, slip your phone into your pocket or bag and magic! You have proof! If you're at school and you're not allowed phones, try and have a witness, like a friend or (hopefully) a teacher. If you really can't get any proof, stay next to your friends or near teachers so that the bully will hesitate about coming close.

Conclusion

To distract yourself from mean comments, do something you love. Play sports, draw, read, write. For me, I listen to music. It's a brilliant way to release your emotions without hurting yourself or anyone else! I hope I answered any questions you had and (I know I've said it) tell an adult if you're being bullied. Or a friend.

*P.S. If you're feeling ashamed or insecure about your nationality, race, gender or sexuality, you can PM any one of us to talk about it. We can help you!