What you want to believe

Paranoid

Jonathan;
For the next few days I tried so hard to get Max to even look at me. I apologized, I got him his favorite food. But nothing.

I tried even harder not to give up. I held him at night, waiting until he stopped struggling under my grasp before loosing my grip.

That's when it hit me. Ethan.

Ethan still lived in town, and going to college to become a teacher. I called him secretly to come get Max for a little while. Just until he talks at least.

Ethan showed up a few minutes later and Ethan took him home, or took him to a carnival, and brought him to their parents home.

That day I ended up sick. Melissa and Kate came to check on me every hour or so.  I had an high fever and I was throwing up.

I was an emotional sick mess for a couple of days. I was bed ridden even after to make sure I was really ok.

I stayed shut in our room for a week, I didnt want to eat, I took care of my hygiene, and I just layed in bed staring at a wall, the ceiling, and Max's books. I felt tears flood my eyes and I started to cry violently, my whole body shaking.

It's all my fault, was the only things going threw my head as I continued to think of Max. I needed him and I cried so hard I ended up vomiting. I didnt stop crying after that.

I heard a soft knock on the door and I slowed my breathing. I took my time standing up and I took the bed sheets and top blanket off the bed. Picking them up and setting them aside. I went to the door and opened it.

"Well, you took your time. We all need you downstairs real quick." Melissa grabbed my wrist and pulled me out of our room. I pulled my wrist back and I stood in the doorway. "Let me get my laundry started first." I went to the bedding and I picked it up.

My voice was raspy, and my eyes where puffy. Throughout the meeting I sat there silently.

"Uh, Alpha, your phones going off." Someone spoke up. I didnt answer them. I picked up the phone and answered it.

"Heyyy!" Ethan spoke when I answered the phone. "Hi." Is all I could muster.

I stepped out of the room and glared at anyone who even tried to eavesdrop. "So, how have you been?" Ethan asked hesitantly. He heard how bad my voice sounds. "Fine I guess." I waited for him to speak again. "I'm headed down to your home. See you then." Ethan said, and be hung up the call. I went back into the meeting, and just told them I wasnt feeling well enough to be doing this. I went to my room.

No one followed, and when I got to my room, I looked out the window, I stared at the leaves changing from the bright green, to shades of red, orange, and brown. Fall was coming and I couldn't stop being paranoid about Max. I sighed and walked to the bed. As soon as I was layed down, I fell asleep. I didnt wake up for a long while.

I heard a soft knock on the door around midnight. I ignored it and rolled over. Getting out of bed and I went to the bathroom. I sat down on the floor and gagged. I felt acid rising into my throat, and I let it out. Another soft knock. I lifted my head and slowly lifted myself up enough to go let whoever in.

I opened the door, and I threw up. I glanced at the face. A but shocked to see Max standing there. He was holding about 60 more books. I fell to the floor and blacked out. I was glad to see Max, but I didnt feel well.

I woke up hours later and shifted in my weight. I felt a cool wash cloth brush my head and I felt even more heat go through my body. I looked to see Max standing up above me and he looked pained. Every so often taking the cloth and dipping it in cool water. Melissa came in a little later, coming in with popsicles.

Max walked around the bed and picked up the book on the end of the bed and started reading again. Everything was blurry. I drifted back to sleep.

I woke up the next morning feeling less sick and I even lifted the covers and walked downstairs. Max was cooking something. I went up behind him and hugged him.

Max turned his head and kissed my forehead. "Your still warm, and itll take more then just a surprise hug for me to forgive you." He went back to cooking. I pulled away and went to the fridge, grabbing ingredients for his favorite cookies. Ethan had taught me his recipe for them and I started to crack eggs into a bowl. I'd learned how to cook when my parents left me home alone.

I looked up from what I was doing to Max setting the table. He did so many chores while I was in bed and I walked behind him and set the other side of the table that was still untouched. I went back to mixing batters and what ever else needed mixed. Max came up from behind me and I kissed his forehead.

"Uh, Jonathan, you shouldn't cook with a fever, you could get whatever you have mixed with the food." He spoke up, I rolled my eyes. "Baby, I feel so much better, I swear if I didnt feel well I wouldn't be doing this." I replied. I turned around and ran my fingers through his hair. Ruffling it a bit.

"Ok fine, if you cough once, or vomit, I'm throwing this all away. Nothing you can or will do about it." He walked back to serving plates and put different portions for different pack members.

"WAKE UP! BREAKFAST IS READY!" Max shouted. Everyone either ran down the stairs or stood back and walked down groggily.

Everyone washed their own plate and silverware and dried and put them away. Everything was cleaned up and everyone went back to their rooms and got ready for the day.

I stayed in the kitchen for a while longer, I was still making those cookies and Max noticed the recipe I was using.

"Howd you get that recipe?" He came up behind me and he could smell the scent the cookies in the oven were giving off. "You brother taught it to me so at times like this, I could apologize with a batch of cookies like these." I smirked. I picked Max up and held him close to my chest. "Max, I love you, and I really, really am sorry. I did a stupid thing and without realizing I brushed you off. I didnt know I caused you that much pain, so, I offer you a batch of your favorite cookies and I hope you can forgive me." I smiled softly to him, and his pale face turned a soft pink. I smiled bigger at him and he sighed. "Yes I forgive you." He took some cookie dough put of the bowl and ate it.

I watched as he walked up the stairs to our room.