Mental - HyunSeungI.N.

Chapter Seven

⚠️⚠️This part contains mild references of self-harm. Please be safe. ⚠️⚠️

Jeongin got off the bed, smiling at Felix. "Yeah. Come on, I'll show you around the facility before you have to leave."

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Jeongin walked through the doorway of the art room. He was tired of just doing nothing during his free time so he decided to try something new to take his mind off of things.

Jeongin looked around the room. There were many people doing many forms of art, such as painting and drawing. Light chatter filled the air.

Jeongin walked up to a man sitting at a desk in the corner that he assumed to be the supervisor. The man was typing away on his phone, completely oblivious of Jeongin's presence.

How irresponsible.

Jeongin cleared his throat. The man jumped and almost dropped his phone before looking up at Jeongin. "Oh, hello."

Jeongin looked around nervously. "Uh, hi. I'm kind of new here so..."

The man set his phone down on his desk. "Ah. So here you could do any kind of art you want. All of the art materials are on the other side of the room on those tables. You could draw or paint or do anything you want. Anything you make in here you can take back to your room. Whenever you come in here, you don't have to check in with me actually, I'm just here to make sure nobody gets hurt. Any questions?"

Jeongin shook his head. "No."

The man picked his phone back up. "Awesome. Have fun."

Jeongin walked over to the other side of the room and grabbed a graphite pencil and a piece of paper before sitting down at a table.

He had no idea what he was doing.

Jeongin put the pencil to the page and drew a line.

He didn't know what to draw.

The singular line that Jeongin drew stared at Jeongin, taunting him. Way to be creative, Jeongin.

Jeongin sighed and turned the line into a stickman, sketching a wide smile on the stickman's face. The smile seemed to contrast what Jeongin was feeling about himself.

Jeongin was quite unhappy with himself. He knew he needed help and he was getting it, but he couldn't help but feel unsatisfied with himself right now. Obviously, Jeongin knew that it takes time to get better, but sometimes he couldn't help but feel unmotivated. His impulses couldn't go away immediately. It takes work.

Jeongin stared at his pencil. He just had to find his motivation.

Jeongin spun the pencil in his fingers. The pencil looked really good to steal right now.

Jeongin's heart picked up as his eyes widened. Where did that thought come from?

Jeongin couldn't help but start to put the pencil in his pocket, his hands seemed to have a mind of there own. Jeongin looked around the room to see if anyone was watching, the pencil was almost in his pocket when-

"I like your stickman."

Jeongin jumped and immediately put the pencil on the table. Jeongin turned, seeing a boy that looked around the same age as him. Jeongin chuckled nervously. "U-uh thanks."

The boy sat next to him and set down a canvas and a bunch of paints. The canvas was covered in something quite abstract. Black and red swirls covered the canvas, blues and greens contrasting the dark swirls. White and purple dots were speckled across the canvas. Jeongin looked back up at the boy. "Wow, you're really good."

The boy chuckled. "Thanks. It's not finished though. Do you mind if I sit here?"

Jeongin shook his head. "No, totally. Of course you can."

The boy smiled. "Great. I'll be right back."

Jeongin watched as the boy walked across the room and filled a cup with water from a sink on the side of the room where the art supplies were. The boy grabbed a couple paintbrushes before going over to the seat next to Jeongin and sitting down.

Jeongin couldn't help but feel curious about the boy's art. "What's your inspiration behind your painting?"

The boy dipped his paintbrush in some pink, adding it to the canvas abstractly. "I made this painting because it represents my Schizophrenia. Back when it was really bad, my delusions and reality morphed together. I couldn't really tell the difference between those two and it was so scary. How could you live if you don't even know what is real?"

The boy cleaned off the brush before dipping it into some yellow, swirling it with the pink on the canvas. "The black here represents what a dark time I was going through. Since black is also every single color mixed together, it also represents how my delusions and reality mixed together. The red represents the blood from when I used to cut myself. I felt so tired from being so not normal, I felt like I wanted to die. It was such a scary time. The rest of the colors show my improvement. Now I am so much better and I know what is real. That's why the colors are now separate."

Jeongin stared at the paintbrush as it drew on colors over the canvas. "You seem so comfortable talking about your problems."

The boy set the paintbrush down before looking at Jeongin. "I found out that talking to people about your problems really helps. Keeping everything in hurts you more than you think."

Jeongin nodded. That was some really good advice. Jeongin stared at the stickman on his page, distractedly. "How'd you get better?"

The boy continued to paint. "One time when I was cutting, I cut a bit too deep. Emergency services were called and I ended up here. I never thought I could be normal but here, everyone helped me and now I feel more normal than I ever was. Of course, they have to monitor me and make sure I take my meds, but it really helps."

Jeongin continued to stare at the page. "I don't feel like I could ever be normal. I... I have Kleptomania which means I have these impulses to steal things. I've stolen... hundreds of things probably and I always feel so guilty and I just can't stop even though I know I should."

"It takes time and will to change. In the end it will all be worth it. I may not be at the end of the tunnel just yet, but I know that in the end, everything will be better. Everything will get less scary."

Jeongin nodded and looked at the boy. The boy looked so focused on painting, concentration etched on his face. He looked strangely beautiful while doing it. "Thanks uh... what's your name?"

The boy looked at Jeongin and smiled. "I'm Seungmin. What's yours?"

"Jeongin."

Seungmin nodded. "I like your name."

Jeongin talked to Seungmin for the rest of free time. The two seemed to get along quite nicely, falling into casual friendly conversation almost immediately."

Seungmin looked up at the clock. "Time is almost up. I should probably start cleaning up. Do you want to sit with me during dinner time? We could talk some more."

Jeongin nodded. "Sure. I'd like that."

It wasn't until he left the room that Jeongin realized that talking to Seungmin distracted him from his impulses.

The impulse to steal he had earlier was completely gone.

A/N I actually kind of struggled to write this chapter, expressing mental health in the form of art is quite challenging. I hope I depicted it well.

I hate school send help

n

unedited