couldn't stop myself

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After rushing once again, out of mews office, gulf was in the elevators, head hung, with his eyes squeezed shut.
What is the matter with me?!
I...... Almost got hard...... When he was just being nice to me and talking about himself.
Gulf placed a hand to his forehead.
It's been 2 months, why am I still like this, when I'm around him.
Gulf gritted his teeth.
The feeling of mews warm hand to his shoulder, was something else.
Taking deep breathes, the doors opened.
Gulf walked on with his head hung, pissed with himself.
He had been distant with his boss because everytime he started to learn something new, gulf wished to know more, however he knew it was not professional, also just by a mere look, gulf would almost wish to....
Gulf stopped to sit at the bus stop to lean his head back looking to the sky in a sullen state.
After the 1st month of working alone with mew practically everyday, gulfs dreams started to turn sexual in nature, just harmless kissing, nothing else, if anything else started to come about, gulf would wake up to see frustratingly he was wet and very hard.
Gulf was trying so hard not to think of his boss in this way, but his kindness was not helping.
Mew started to ask if he could drive gulf home, but he knew that was not a good idea. He might ask him to come in then pounce.
Gulf gritted his teeth.
You are a sick son of a bitch gulf. Your boss is straight and in a loving marriage. Stop it!
Gulf took a deep breathe in to get onto the bus, to sit, looking out the window a bit depressed.
Over working was not helping, staying quiet was not working, sitting a foot apart was not helping, what gulf wanted was too sit close to mew and ask him personal questions to really get to know him.
This confused him to no end, even with his past boyfriend's, gulf really didn't indulged to much into there personal life, so why did he care so much about mew?
Darting his eyes, it had gotten to be too much, even though the thought sickened him, gulf went into his bag to text an old friend who showed interest in him.
Just have a one night stand, should help you get over mew, your....... Just pent up, been what I think a year since you.... So just do this.
Has he texted, they instantly were willing for a meet up.
Gulf was exhausted, however he needed this, he was over Joyed there was a motel, 6 blocks from his home.
Sitting in the motel on the bed, gulf looked to the wall.
What am I doing?  Having sex with another, but think of my boss..... God!
Gulf placed his head into his hands.
This is ridiculous, what is wrong with me. Why am I like this.....
Hearing knocking, gulf took his head out to breathe heavily.
Shit!
He took a deep breathe and went to the door, hand to the handle, looking to it.
Just....... Get your frustrations out......
Gulping, he opened the door, to see huro, a classmate of his from high school, they hung out briefly in those days, didn't turn into anything when gulf got a boyfriend, he could tell huro had feelings but because he never said anything gulf went after the other. Destroyed there friendship, but kept in contact every now and then.
Huro looked gulf over to go in, immediately he placed his hands to his face, to push him back to the wall, to start kissing deeply.
Gulf shut the door, to keep his eyes opened, he was indulging but couldn't stop wishing this was mews tongue in his mouth.
Gulf squeezed his eyes shut feeling horrible.
He didn't like to use people, especially people who had feelings for him but he couldn't help it anymore.
Taking his hands up, gulf placed them to huro waist.
I'm...... So sorry huro.....I have different intentions...... Please...... Let this be over fast. Maybe if......I do this..... I'll forget mew..... And stop whatever this is.
To the bed, the two, were kneeled to the center of the bed, still kissing without there shirts.
Gulf couldn't help but Invision mew. That's what helped him get into this act. Huro didn't think twice.
Gulf then took his hands from his shoulders to his pants to un buckle his belt to unbutton to unzip.
Huro took his hands down from his face to his neck, one went to his chest to lean gulf back a bit, so huro could kiss at his chest.
Gulf with his eyes closed, thought of mew doing this.
He moaned.
Huro smiled.
Gulf brought his hands up to huro chest to push him to his butt to get on him, to grind a bit up and down.
Huro placed his hands to gulfs waist, to breathe shakily, with his head leaned up watching.
Gulf had his hands to huros neck, to grind.
"Mmmm..... Gulf...... You are making me so hard.....quit teasing and....."
Gulf smiled, with his eyes closed to place his lips to huros neck.
"Calm down mew."
Huros eyes widen.
Who.... Did he just call me?
Gulf went back unaware what he just said. Trying to kiss huro, he leaned back, gulf stopped to open his eyes.
"Why you...."
Huro pushed gulf off, to get off the need, to bend grabbing his shirt.
Gulf moved to the edge to look over huro.
"What..... What are you doing?"
Huro buttoned his shirt and fixed his pants to turn eyeing gulf in anger.
"I..... Thought this was..... Something...... Gulf..... Not you fucking me and thinking of another. I don't know who this, mew is..... But go after him. Your an asshole! I don't like to be used."
Huro turned and left slamming the door.
Gulf kept his eyes wide to flop to the bed, covering his eyes.
He groaned.
I...... Did I...... Call him..... Oh god! I am an asshole. What have I've done! This is not okay.
What is going on with me!? Why can't I get mew out if my head! This...... Is bad.
Gulf took deep breathes to turn, to eye the wall.
You need to to never ever do this again. It's vile, huro did not deserve that. Just keep, whatever this is, inside gulf, just..... Keep doing what your doing, limit your conversations with him, stay a foot apart, do not let him take you home, try to not think of him and try to over indulge in work.
Gulf Closed his eyes again, to take a hand down.
Only..... Tonight..... You can..... Relieve yourself to thoughts of him...... After this..... Never again....
Gulf squeezed his eyes shut to take a hand to his member to stroke. Biting his lip, he thought of a few hours prior, when mew placed his hand to his shoulder and talked a bit of himself.
Gulf moaned.
He started to think of those hands touching his body everywhere.
Gulfs body shuttered.
Mr. Mujo...... Your wife..... Is one lucky woman to have you every night..... I'm.....a bit jealous......
Gulf went faster, cumming he took a long deep breathe.
You are...... Never to so this again gulf....
He whimpered.
In his mind it was true, in his heart, gulf wasent so sure.
He squeezed his eyes tighter shut, to grit his teeth.
Why...... Why am I like this...... I'm sorry huro..... I'm sorry Mr. Mujo......

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