The Cheerleader's Side Piece

Shaky Memories(7)

The feeling of the bristles pushing against my scalp as I pull the brush down makes my head tingle. Stroke after stroke, I continue unknotting my hair as I stare into my dull eyes. After the 8 years, I've only noticed a few differences in my appearances. For one, I'm taller. Grew about three inches during college. My waist had curved in and my hips and breast had filled out completely. There was no more baby fat lingering on my face and even a few wrinkles have appeared in the corner of my eyes. My skin was cleared, brighter actually, and my hair was much longer now. Reaching my butt, it had a bit more waves in it. I look like a woman, one who was in the prime of her life.

Tugging on a long baby blue skirt that had little brown buttons on the front and pockets tucked into the side, a white shirt that had long sleeves with puffy cuffs, and white vans to top it off. Tying my bangs back and applying a light layer of makeup, I take one more glance at the mirror before grabbing my locket and going out the front door.

Driving to the hospital, I stopped by a little coffee shop for a muffin and latte. Behind the counter was a young man, a college boy I'm guessing. "Good morning, how may I help you?"

"One latte with oat milk and a blueberry muffin," I went into my wallet for my card.

"Alright," he plugged it in and as I handed him my card, he put up his palm, "it's on the house."

Perplexed, I ask, "And why is that?"

"Because I'm paying for you," he had a cheeky grin, a bit of his teeth showing. Immediately I felt a little uncomfortable, but instead of arguing I simply thanked the boy and went to wait by the counter. People with laptops, textbooks and friends filled the place. Some gossiped while others studied. In college I was so busy trying to get my degree, I couldn't even remember ever stepping outside my dorm aside from class and work. Though it may sound sad or miserable, it was worth it. I received my PhD in five years and immediately started my study within three months of graduation. "Order 47," my number gets shouted out by the young kid, whom I thank once more and leave. Inside my car I noticed he left a number and name. Sighing, I push up the sleeve to hide it and go straight to work.

~

"You got this Cassidy! Only three more steps!" The nurse cheered her on. I stood away in the corner, watching Cassie go through her physical therapy. As of this moment she's relearning how to use her legs, since they've basically been immobile for a little over eight years. Cassie grunts and moans as she struggles to move her legs, desperately holding onto the poles and nurse. Spiking through me, I wanted to rush over and assist her. To help her along and encourage her. My heart began racing with every one of her steps, the fear of her falling also rising. When she succeeds to the end, the nurse shouts out praise and even Cassie give off a cheer. "Now let's get you back into bed for your meeting."

I waited for her in her room, gazing out the large window. Everything was perfect in her room; the view, food, and furniture... but the fact that she was trapped in a hospital looked over my head. Made me gloomy and irritable.

But nothing made me even more angry than the unanswered questions.

The door slides open and in comes Cassie in the wheelchair and the nurse pushing her. I give her a warm smile, "Good morning Cassidy. I saw how well you did in therapy."

Getting wheeled to the bed, she smiles, "I was a bit wobbly though. Hopefully by next week I'll have more stable footing." The nurse helps her into bed and once she finishes, she excuses herself. I take a seat, tugging it a bit closer to the bed.

"Well it's still very impressive. Been only a little over a week and here you are... moving your legs," I said, pulling out my notebook.

"It's nice... but I still feel pretty... useless," she sighed, gripping the sheets slightly, "but what can I do about it! Slow and steady wins the race!"

I nod, "It does."

Flipping through my notes to review our last sessions. I remember everything however I wanted to double check. "Antonia?"

Glancing up, I said, "Yes?"

"I think I remember something," my heart stopped. My body couldn't move... the hope was shining through me... even begging it to be what I so desperately dreamed of. "I... I'm not sure if it can be called a memory... but," she glances away, staring out the glorious window. She lingers for a moment, my heart beating in my ears.

"What do you remember?"

A split second passes, but she finally sighs, "I remember feeling... feeling devastated." She grips her chest, squishing her clothes causing wrinkles to appear.

Disappointment flooded over me, but I couldn't let it show. "Can you explain it to me?" I asked, clearing my throat.

"I don't know how," she mumbled, huffing a little. I sit back, allowing her to come to her own understanding. She struggles to create a definition, some form of explanation, but she does find one. "I had a dream... I saw my younger self but... she looked so different. She was so pale... paler than me now. Boney, dirty and rough. She seemed as if she was homeless. When I came closer to her I... I saw that in the middle of her chest was this hole that was filled in with black. When I asked her questions she just moaned, and cried sometimes. Then... I felt her. I felt that terrible terrible feeling. As if I was being pinned down with self-hatred and anger. I felt so sick... so tired and angry. And when I looked up into her eyes.... I.... I woke up." Cassie shook a little remembering it. It almost seemed as if she was reliving it.

Clearing my throat, she glanced up at me... scared a little. "That's very big news Cassidy. It means you could potentially be remembering how you were before the accident. Don't fear it," I stood up, going beside her and taking her little hand in mine. Tracing her veins with my eyes, I mumble, "If you fear it Cassidy.... you'll just end up like before. Welcome the memories but remember this when you're remembering... what you felt back then wasn't true. It was your own mind poisoning you."

I stared at her, seeing memories of her back then. Before I could become emotional, I lean to set it down when I hear her mutter, "A-Ani.... Ani?" My eyes shoot to hers, seeing the confusion written across her face. "That name... that name... it, it was something important... something so important," she points to the locker hanging out of my shirt. I didn't notice it slipped out until now. "When I saw that... I heard that name.... do... did I own a locket?" She asked, appearing frightened.

Pulling away and tucking the locket away, I console her, "Cassidy... stop. You can't let yourself go... take a moment and breathe," I start doing breathing exercises with her, seeing her calm down a little. A little shaken up over her suddenly calling my name, I leave the session early.

Needing to calm myself, I drive to the abandoned building that began the issues.