Broken Souls (Sample)

Chapter Five

Chapter Five

I've been in a state of void. It's still my birthday but the moon is out. I didn't even notice the sun go down. I don't even know how I ended up parked out front of my house. Was I driving all day? I can't remember. Looking at my house, the lights are off. It's almost midnight so they must be in bed. I find the strength to walk into the house. Getting to my room, I don't even bother turning the lights on. I want to be in darkness. As I fall down on my bed, something crinkles against my head. Reaching over I flick my lamp on. A frown comes on my face as I see pink envelope with my name on it. I unfold it and pull out a birthday card. It has a pretty girly design with the words happy birthday on it. Opening the card, I'm surprised by the letter that comes out.

"Dearest Elora,

I'm sorry for the fight we got into. I was just surprised at you saying you wanted to leave the pack. I know I haven't told you much about your mother but the reason I have you and not her is because I could give you more opportunities than she could. A rogue lives a lonely life being homeless and all. A rogue life is dangerous. If she had kept you, the forest would be no place for two young she-wolves. You were better off with me.

I know you would have wanted to grow up with her in your life, but there was no way alpha Manson would have accepted a rogue into his pack. I did what I thought was right. I know we don't have the relationship we should but you are my daughter. I may have gotten sidetracked when I met my mate and when she became pregnant with Kieryn but I still raised you.

I was an only child and my father influenced me entirely. When you arrived, I had no clue how to be a father, especially to a girl.  You have to understand I was taught to be tough, guarded, and practical. As a patroller I had to be sly and grit. That was the mindset that was expected of me. Then to come home and raise a little girl to be feminine and have morals and everything that makes a woman, I guess I failed. I'm man enough to admit I had no clue what I was doing. Maybe that's why we aren't close, because I don't know how to understand a girls mind.

If you want to leave the pack, I won't stop you.

I'm sorry Elora. I hope I can still be a part of your life.

Love Dad

The tears are pouring out of my eyes. I can't believe the words written on this paper, or the fact that they came from my Dad. My hands are shaking so I carefully fold the letter up and put it in my bedside drawer. I don't even bother reading the birthday card. I wrap my blanket around my body for comfort and think about what I just read. After Javier's rejection today I felt like giving up. Like I had nothing left to live for. But now my Dad's letter. As clueless as my father has been all these years, he really did try to raise me the way he could. He does care about me. He just doesn't know how to show it. It's hard to believe he has feelings. He admitted to failing me. He did fail as a father. He has a broken daughter and an aggressive son. I wonder if he could ever make up for it. Maybe his letter was a start.

I owe it to myself to keep going forward. I'm not letting a rejection from some prick who's never spoken to me before today define my future. That is up to me. My life is in my control and I have to start believing that. My plan is still the same and I'm going to work harder for it. Finish school, work full time, move into the city and really start my life. I'll keep in contact with my father, but other than that, I'm leaving this werewolf world behind. I'll live a human life with a human partner. I'm choosing that for myself. Some people say being a werewolf and destined to shift at thirteen and then having to live a certain way is a curse. I'm starting to believe it is. A human life would be much less melancholy. If the werewolf existence is still so strict to this day, I can't imagine how difficult it would have been in medieval times.

I stay up most of the night thinking about my Dad's words. My mind keeps wondering about Lizzie though. She must still be a rogue, but does she just wonder the forest? I doubt she's in the same area after eighteen years. Does she travel around? Is she homeless? Is she living in wolf form? Did she find her mate? Is she alive... That last question halts my list of questions. I clench my eyes shut, not wanting to think of what my mother suffered through or if she's even alive. I grab my pain pills, pop several of them to make me drowsy enough to sleep and switch the lamp off. I keep my eyes shut, wanting all this heartache to stop.

***

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