TUBULAR! ✰ (billy hargrove x reader)

CHAPTER 26

I jog down the stairs and Max follows close behind. I can hear the TV and when we're in the living room Steve is still up, staring intently at the screen and whatever movie is playing. He helped himself to some chips I had in the house and he looked up at us in confusion when he noticed we were there and wearing jackets.

"What's going on?" He asks, his mouth full of chips as he talks. Max and I exchange a glance and giggle a bit before I turn back to Steve.

"Could you do me a huge favor?" I ask. Steve has a cautious look on his face as he swallows and then leans back into the couch more, crossing his arms.

"Continue."

"Could I borrow your car? I'm a good driver, I just don't have a car! I could even show you my license and-"

"Whoa, slow down." He holds a hand up and I shut my mouth. He gets up with a sigh and goes over to his jacket that he had hung up on the coat rack. He digs around in a pocket and I hear the jingling of the keys. He tosses them to me carelessly and I smile as I catch them.

"You're the best."

"Yeah yeah, I know." He waves me off and goes back to the couch, hopping over the back and plopping down on it.

I look at Max and jingle the keys with a grin. "Let's get out of here."

-

I stopped the car when we made it to where we were going and turned off the engine.

"The quarry?" Max sounds confused and I look at her, shrugging.

"You're still angry, right?"

"Yeah." She says and then I get out of the car. Max does the same and we both look out at the water for a moment before she's speaking up again.

"So why are we here?"

"You're angry. I'm angry. I come here sometimes when I just need to let it out."

"Let it out? What does that mean?" She's looking at me with her eyebrows knitted together in confusion and I look at her as I lean against the hood of Steve's car.

"I scream. Or sometimes run." I say simply and she laughs a bit.

"Scream and run?" She crosses her arms as she leans on the car next to me and I also laugh a bit.

"You'd be surprised at how good it can feel to just be able to blow off some steam like that. Here, just try it."

She seems hesitant and I sigh. Then I push myself off of the car and cup my hands around my mouth, shutting my eyes tight as I scream.

I look back at Max afterwards and she has a bewildered look on her face. That only makes me laugh.

"It's not like anybody's around to hear. Come here." I wave her over and she comes closer so that we're standing next to each other again. I put my hand on her shoulder and count down from three.

Then she screams with me and it's pretty obvious that she has a lot of pent up anger. She has her eyes shut tight too and her fists are clenched at her sides.

We both stop and she opens her eyes to look at me. I smile a bit and pat her shoulder before pulling my hand away.

"How do you feel?"

She's catching her breath a bit but she nods. "A little better."

"It doesn't fix everything or always make you less angry, but it can wear you out. Sometimes the best thing you can do is just wear yourself out until you're too tired to be so furious anymore."

"Everything is so confusing and shitty all the time." She mutters. And then she's closing her eyes, taking a deep breath, and screaming her heart out again.

We stay in the quarry for a while, both of us letting out everything. Sometimes we scream actual thoughts and other times we just scream because it's too much to think about why we're so upset. We just are. That's life. And it sucks.

I don't remember exactly when I reached my hand out to hold Max's in a supportive manner, but our hands are interlocked and she's gripping my hand so hard it hurts. I don't mind though. It feels grounding and it keeps me tethered to reality.

We both tire ourselves out from screaming and she releases my hand. I lay down on the hood of the car and Max joins me, both of us looking up at the sky as we calm down.

We stay quiet for a long time, both of us most likely thinking about our lives and what led to us being at the quarry at night screaming to get our emotions out.

Then Max says something that hits close to home.

"Sometimes I get so mad that I want to feel something. Something painful. I probably sound crazy but it's like sometimes I want something to hurt."

I look at her now and then she also looks at me, waiting expectantly. She almost looks scared and my gaze softens.

"You don't sound crazy. I know exactly what you mean."

"You do?" She turns so she's laying facing me and I nod.

"I think that people think that because it's a way to keep you tethered to reality. Sometimes I want to feel pain just so I know that I can feel still. It sounds pretty dramatic, I know. But it's true. That's probably why I go on runs, because feeling the burn reminds me that I'm here." I explain, hoping I'm making sense. "There's ways to deal with it that aren't negative. Some people fight and... Do things to purposefully hurt themselves. And it's really sad that people do those things and feel like that's how they should cope, but that's just how life is sometimes. It's good to find an outlet that's not self destructive though."

Max nods and adjusts so she's on her back again, her gaze focused on the sky. "That's probably how Billy feels a lot. I know I do sometimes."

"I think a lot of us have pent up anger. Some of us just have more of it and some of us are just better at dealing with it than others," I glance back at her again. "I know that you're strong enough to deal with it though. You're a tough kid."

Max nods, crossing her arms over her chest as she doesn't take her eyes away from the night sky. I can tell she's still thinking a lot and I don't blame her. I can't imagine what she's feeling right now after what she saw at her house.

I'm not going to pretend I know what it's like either. But I can try my best to be there for her and do everything in my power to make it hurt a little less for her.

-

We left the quarry and made it back to my house. By now it was fairly late and when I opened the door to my house I saw that the TV was still on. A random channel was on instead of a movie and when we made it into the living room we saw Steve sprawled out on the couch, snoring softly as his hand that was loosely holding the remote hung off the couch.

Max and I laugh softly and I go over to the TV, shutting it off for him.

After that we go back upstairs. I go over to my bed on the floor and get comfortable while Max observes some of the posters around my room.

"You have some of the same posters as Billy." She states as she also gets in bed.

"Oh yeah?"

"I didn't know you liked that loud stuff too." She doesn't hide her disdain and I laugh.

"It's not all bad," I yawn as I talk. "Hey, could you turn off that lamp on the nightstand for me?"

Max reaches over and turns off the light, the room being enveloped by darkness now. I'm tired from the events of the night and close my eyes. "Night, Max."

"Night." She mumbles back. "And hey, I wanted to say thanks. For helping me and everything."

I keep my eyes closed but smile softly.

"Any time."