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ruby's ghazal (letter 16)

my love, my buck, my love (maybe if i keep chanting this it will make you appear right here, right now)

i feel quietly in love and longing with you. i am not sad. just still and peaceful. a good feeling. this on one hand. on the other i want to talk and chat and yak with you non stop. but we will do that when we see one another again (when will that ever be).

it rained today. in the morning. it was grey, but light. and it was a shower of sorts. lots of it falling straight down from the sky as though from a huge shower head with very large holes. loud on the nearby tin roofs. the water jabbered ceaselessly for about ten minutes. it rinsed the dust off of everything and when the sun appeared tentatively on and off for the next few hours, everything shone. the brand new leaves of the jacarandas glistened. so did the cars and the tarmac and the roofs of nearby buildings. all was washed and clean and fresh. the palm trees across the street looked as if they had just been dressed for going out for the day. the bunches of dates hanging were clusters of shiny, fat yellow earrings and the fronds at their tops looked like trendy dreads. now it is hours later and all that is left from the shower is a breeze pulling and pushing at everything. a relief from the now steamy, moist and clingy surfaces.

i have a surprise for you. you know how i have always liked poetry a lot and wrote the odd poem for you in a letter now and then? well, i am attending poetry workshops for a term. it is being offered at work for a trial period and they are looking for participants, so i volunteered. i'm trying my hand at different forms of it and guess who will be the guinea pig who has to read my efforts? (oh...? you cannot guess? well...surprise, surprise!) our lecturer is tall, dark and handsome. even more so than the plumber, so you'd better really love my poems. i'm just saying.

i shall tell you a bit about each form so that you can check whether i am doing it right, okay? the first one is called a ghazal, pronounced like 'guzzle', which sort of puts me off a bit. guzzle. it was originally developed in persia many centuries ago and consists of between five and fifteen couplets. a refrain appears at the end of both lines of the first couplet and at the end of the second line in each succeeding couplet. also, one or more words before the refrain are rhymes or partial rhymes. the lines should be of approximately the same length and meter. the poet (me) may use the final couplet as a signature couplet, using her name in it, so please know i have taken no liberties of my own. the couplets are supposed to be able to stand independently of each other. here goes:

cliches

home is in your arms this is my favourite this is no cliche

i know what you hand me is no alms and this is no cliche

every day i love you more even the sun knows this

in my heart there is no qualm for sure this is no cliche

you make my legs weak my feet stumble on stones

i smile while i look down so this is no cliche

you take my breath away it catches in my throat

i swallow dryness though there's no harm surely this is no cliche

you ring my bell and i hear it all the time in my ears

i want to answer to your psalm i know this is no cliche

i can think of nothing else but you all the time this is true

each new hour ruby loves your calm knows too this is no cliche

i have long ago made a list of all the platitudes that seem to be especially fitting for us. i have marveled that such mundane phrases can be so perfect as well as the honest truth and i wished i could lift them out of their mediocrity into a place fit for the words of gods. i am not quite sure i succeeded here, though. but i tried in my poetry exercise. so. what do you think, buck? can i leave my daytime job? i wonder what my teacher will say of it, although i don't really give a fig, because i know you will love every word i ever write in my entire life because you love me, but i will let you know anyway. (and should he say something nasty, you can kick his backside when you get back)

i love you buck, i wish to be with you. but i know it is not possible right now. i am strong. if i fuss because i want to be with you, please know that you do not have to be worried about my state of mind, i just need to vent. and after all, if i don't, you may think i do not care about being parted from you. i want you to know it matters very much, but i also want you to know that i am fine. more important is that you must never forget that i am waiting for you. right here. i am not going anywhere. i will be here when you get back. i am yours. i know you are mine. till death us do part. and you said even after that too. you know i believe every single word you ever tell me.

be safe wherever you are, my love, and come back to me, i am impatiently waiting for that day.

your ruby

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