PINK FEATHER BOAS AND CIGARETTES

8

It was just past noon, and Frank was still asleep.

Gerard called out at work to take care of him, and make sure he was okay. Jamia said he just needed more painkillers, but they both knew he needed the emotional support more than anything.

When Frank woke up, Gerard had tea ready for him, but all he wanted was for his boyfriend to cuddle next to him, hold him tight and keep him safe.

Gerard almost asked him how he was feeling, but he realized what a stupid question it was. So they just stayed like that for a while.

'I was afraid to tell you,' Frank said out of a sudden. Gerard just listened. 'I didn't want you to think of me that way. Think that I was selling my body. I'm not proud of it, either.'

'I would never think that.'

'I know. But still.' He pulled apart, wiped off his tears, and looked at Gerard straight in the eye. 'It just hurt too much, you know. I didn't think I'd ever have to do it again.' He paused. 'I never told this to Jamia or anyone, but when I first started working there, they made me sleep with customers and I thought that was how you made it. I wanted to be on main stage, be one of them. and I thought that was the only way.'

Gerard wanted to stop him, it didn't matter anymore.

Frank sobbed, just letting it all out. 'Once I became Destroya, I thought it was over. I could finally refuse to sleep with anyone. Though the harassment never stopped. They all saw me as a piece of meat, but I just wanted to dance, to be free. Then you showed up, and you made me feel like I was more than that. No one had done that.'

Gerard kissed the tears off his face. Kissed every corner, and then lingered a little longer on his lips. 'You are more than that. You are caring, and so fucking smart, and funny, and beautiful.'

'Don't say that.'

'But you are. And I'm not gonna get tired of telling you until you believe it.'

'You're a fucking angel, you know?' Frank said, and then buried his face on Gerard's neck. 'Can we go to the clinic now and get it over with? I need a shower so bad.'

***

The way to the clinic was quiet.

Frank went it by himself, and told Gerard to wait outside. It was humiliating enough that he had to find him and see what that man did to him, he didn't want him to be there when he told the doctor.

He didn't get into details, but just told them he must have been drugged, because he doesn't remember anything, and how they found him. 'I know it's hard,' the doctor said. 'But you can press charges.'

'I'm – I don't even remember his face. I just need to get tested, okay?' He started to get angry, so he tried to calm down.

When they were out of the building, Gerard noticed his change in mood and tried to help the best he could. He cooked something for him while Frank took a shower, and cuddled with him.

But the next day he had to go back to work, and Frank was all by himself.

He tried to avoid everything, and sleep through the day until either Jamia or Gerard made it home. But his head wouldn't shut up. He found a bottle of whiskey in the cabinets, and took it to his room. It's barely noon, he told himself. But who cared anymore?

When Gerard came home, he noticed the smell in Frank's breath, but chose not to say anything. He understood, but he just hoped it wouldn't turn into something bad.