So You Want To Be A Stewardess

Can I have your number?

Getting hit on is part and parcel of this job. 

It usually happens during the lull period on long flights. Tired of sitting down, passengers get up for a stretch and hang around the doors.

As I go past them clearing the cabin of food wrappers, bits of trash, etc, or checking* the toilets, a hello sometimes turns into a conversation, and before you know it, they're asking for your number.

That's always an awkward moment, because one, there are other bored passengers standing around, obviously listening to your conversation. Two, it's just too weird for me to recite my number to someone I've talked to for 2 minutes, while I'm holding a tray of trash. Thirdly, we're trained never to say no to passengers, but this is one of those rare exceptions on the job where it's inappropriate to say yes.

Mostly, men can gauge your awkwardness and do back off, thankfully. I remember one guy very clearly. He was Malaysian, so immediately, there was a kinship connection. He divided his time between Malaysia, Singapore, New York and some other city. We had a good chat about our hometowns, Malaysian food, and as I wished him well and was about to continue my tidying duties, he very shyly asked if he could have my number. Yikes.

Seeing the awkwardness written all over my face, he changed his tactic. "How about I give you my card, and we can keep in touch?" He was so sweet. I hesitated, unsure how best to say no. He fumbled with his wallet, found his card, and before I could respond, he said, "This only has my New York and Singapore number. I'll give you my other numbers too." He whipped a pen out of thin air and scribbled on his card all the different ways I could reach him at. When he handed it to me, there were 4 numbers on it and 2 email addresses.

I lost his card.

He was sweet, but of course there are some repulsive ones too.

Once, I had a nervous junior on her first flight. She'd been dealing with the most obnoxious man, who made her run circles around his every stupid whim. She was just telling me about it when the call button above his seat lit up. Her face fell.

I told her I'd go but she said it was ok. So I tagged behind just in case.

She gulped and put on that smile we'd all practised. As she reached him, he did this cocky flick with his index and middle fingers, offering her a business card tucked between them. He said to her, "Call me. I'll take you out." He even winked! Oh I nearly gagged.

My poor junior, on the other hand, reacted like a deer caught in headlights. I pretended I needed her help with something and nudged her along. We barely reached the galley before I burst into hysterics. "Oh my god, what a psycho! Right??" But she'd been so stressed and confused by him that she looked about to burst into tears instead. I think she spent the rest of the flight avoiding looking at him. It was hell for her.

On air, you are stuck with your passengers for hours, but the good thing is, once the plane lands, it's goodbye forever. Unless you are crazy unlucky, you won't ever see them again. Also, although I didn't marry one of my passengers, many crew do meet their happily ever afters this way, so hey, no judgment here. 

p.s. Actually, I will make one judgment. Guys, seriously, stop doing that stupid cocky finger flick. You may think it makes you look suave, but you just look like a dick.  

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*refer to Chapter 4 for toilet shenanigans.