𝗙 𝗔 𝗟 𝗟 𝗜 𝗡 𝗚 （ｔｏｇｅｔｈｅｒ）

14. 𝙨𝙥𝙤𝙤𝙣

He cleaned.

The usually messy apartment was remarkably clean, the couch was lined with decorative blankets and pillows, and the kitchen counter now had appliances atop of it. His hand never left mine, instead gripping it even tighter so he wouldn't lose me as he led me through the living room, and past the doorway to what I knew to be his bedroom.

"Hawks?" I questioned, not exactly comfortable with where this was going.

He didn't stop, nor even bother to pause, instead persevering until he took a seat on the side of his bed. His large hand still gripping onto mine while I stood in front of him. Keigo smiled up at me, that innocent, happy smile. His thumb rubbed the back of my hand, before finally loosening his hold on it a bit. Suddenly, he yanked me down onto the bed with him, enveloping me with both of his arms against my will.

Is he... spooning me?

I was about to fuss at him- both scold him for tackling me and for not telling me before he did so, but he spoke before me.

"Shush shush shush..." his arms squeezed around my waist, legs tangling with mine.

I've never... been held like this before... is it always this warm? It wasn't as though his heat was spreading throughout my body, it was more like he had it within every inch of himself, and now that there was so much skin contact between the both of us, I was finally getting a good taste of it.

"Just... let me hold you for a while." Hawks said groggily, and I knew he was already dozing off. He had been working all day, after all.

Work... My mind couldn't help but wander back to earlier, when he had been holding another girl this exact same way. I tried to push the thought out of my mind, but the longer I laid there, the more it prodded my brain. I'm just some stranger off a rooftop that spent a couple nights in his guest bedroom... Why was I any different from anyone else?

What am I doing here? I just wanted to help him feel less alone, not cuddle with him in his unbelievably comfortable bed. But... this was what I'd been wanting for the past three years, wasn't it? For him to hold me and never let me go, for him to tell me everything's okay, and that he's so happy I've accomplished so much in life. So, why did it feel so... odd? Was it because I wasn't used to this kind of embracing touch? Or because I wasn't used to anyone wanting to hold me in general?

What I thought would be Keigo taking a quick little nap, turned into both of us sleeping the day away. I hadn't even noticed until I woke up, still in that same position I succumbed to asleep in. Even though we'd been there for hours, Hawks showed no sign of moving anytime soon. I could see the subtle light of what remained from the sunset bounce off his bedroom wall, the fate bustle of the city beneath us pairing with it perfectly.

I was still in my work clothes, which, after all this time of napping, were beyond uncomfortable. I tried to escape his strong grasp, first attempting wiggling out of his arms, and when that didn't work, resorting to prying his hands off of me. Truly, I attempted to do so with minimal disruption as possible, but when I heard a low mumble from behind me, signifying that the bird had finally awakened, all of my work was undone in a flash.

"Nooo~" he sang playfully at first, his strong arms turning me around to face him before resuming their snug hold on me. "Don't leave me again..." his tone turned sad.

I stared at him, his eyes still closed. I returned the favor he had done for me earlier, brushing his messy blond hair out of the way of his peaceful face. "You know that's not how it happened..." I whispered, not sure if I wanted him to hear it or not.

Keigo groggily opened one of his eyes, and it instantly met mine. "I know..." he relinquished one of his arms that had a hold on me, instead moving it to hold my face instead.

This guy must really like rubbing my cheeks...

"I regret it almost everyday, you know." Both of his golden eyes opened now, and he shuffled a bit as he stretched out his wings and arms. "Making you leave, that is."

I didn't even hesitate, I knew exactly what I wanted to ask. "Then why'd you stay away for so long? Even after you retired..."

He paused for e minutes before sighing. He gently laid back down onto his side to meet my gaze once again. "Because I knew you hated me."

"No, I didn't, I-"

"Oh come on," he reached a hand into the air, a familiar little feather coming to rest in between his fingers. "I had to listen to you cry and scream night after night. I know how much you hate me for what I did... but I hate myself more." He brought the feather down, wiggling it in front of my face so I could get a better look.

Franklin...

He was right, there were some nights when I'd scream into space about all of my problems, just because space was the only person who'd listen. I never thought that Hawks would even try to check up on me, though, and even more I can't believe I didn't notice.

"What was the hardest to listen to, though, was you thinking you weren't good enough, all because of something I did." He twiddled with the feather between his fingers.

Oh.

Let's not talk about that. Please.

"Having to know you were standing in front of that stupid mirror, pointing out every little thing you didn't like about yourself, and then having to listen to you-."

So, he listened to everything.

"Stop. I don't want to talk about it." I finally spoke up, flipping over on the bed so I didn't have to look at the pity on his face.

I could feel him sit up behind me. "Kid, you need to talk about it if you wanna get over it-"

"No, I don't!" My voice raised a bit as I sat up, swinging my legs over the bed.

He shouldn't be spying on me... that's none of his business.

"I'll sleep in my old room." I told him, abruptly getting up and storming away, hearing him shout a quick 'Wait!' on my way out.

I'm only here because I wanted to help him. So why is he bringing up old stuff that I've already gotten over? And... why did it hurt to hear him say that stuff out loud?

~~
A/N

I offer u a double update to say srry for not updating in a bit :)

forgive me