Even before I had the chance to even open my mouth, they both walked out of the room. If we're being realistic here, rehab is the only way to go for me.
I couldn't even think of going to stay with any of my friends. Ruben and his mom definitely won't help me from staying clean even if I wanted to, Fourth Grade's parents can't afford another mouth to feed, and Stevie, well— his mom still doesn't fuck with me like that.
I never thought I'd actually reach this point in my life. When I was in high school, I knew I wasn't the best kid, but I really never thought I'd actually end up here. It's really fucking crazy how things can change so quick and you won't even realize it. I just started thinking about everything that's happened in my life for me to end up this way. What went wrong? Why?
I felt my eyes start to tear up, but I blinked that shit away. I don't cry. Mama raised a soldier, not a bitch.
"Hey buddy, that was quite a show y'all had there." Jim said. "Are you okay?"
I don't know why this nigga always has to say something smart before he talks. I appreciate the concern but shit, just get straight to the point.
"I don't answer stupid questions."
Silence.
"You know son, things just happen—" he started.
"Man, things don't just fucking happen," I cut him off.
"Everything will be okay eventually," he finished.
Everything will be okay. Eventually? Fuck. I can't wait for "eventually". I need it to be okay now.
The nurse from earlier returned, handing me some hospital food. Just what I fucking needed, huh? I can't believe people actually like this shit. I'm a big foodie, but I just can't eat right now. Really, I just want a fruit cup and some sleep.
"Thanks," I say.
The nurse nods and leaves.
"So, what do you think I should do?" I say to Jim, hesitantly; turning to the curtain.
"Well, I know it feels like you can't beat this, and me saying this will probably piss you off even more, because you think that nothing can make you feel better again—"
Well, that doesn't sound too good.
"But you have to believe that you can do this. Be a better you for you. Not for others."
You know, maybe this Jim nigga wasn't so bad after all.
"You know what Jim, I fuck with you," I said. "It feels nice hearing that from someone I don't know."
He chuckles, "Well, I hope you take what I said to heart."
My stomach starts to form a tornado and I puke again.
I don't know if I can.
YOU ARE READING
early2000s | fuckshit x oc | mid90s
Teen Fiction"I don't know, I think it's hard for me to communicate my feelings because sometimes I don't even know why I feel the way I do." After a party in senior year, Fuckshit hasn't been the same, only one thing kept him sane. Will he change for himself or...
