BAU- Spencer Reid x reader

chapter 13- I Won't Accept It

your pov:

     I wake up dreading the day ahead of me. I sluggishly get out of bed and get ready for work. I dress in a white and black striped blouse with a black blazer over it and matching pants with my white sneakers. Guess I'm color coding today. Quickly, I brush my teeth, wash my face, and do my hair and makeup.
     Before leaving, I grab my purse and my go bag. I sit in silence listening to my own breathing and sounds of the road on my way to the BAU.
     I see Spencer's hoodie laying on my desk chair when I walk in. Angrily, I fold it up and shove it behind my desk. My eyes linger on it as I remember him taking it off of me. Stop.
     The rest of the team piles in as JJ and I create a presentation to the new case. It's local. We meet in the briefing room and give a run down of everything we know.
Prentiss, Morgan, and JJ are talking when I approach them with two coffees. Without even realizing it, I take a drink out of both of them.
"Isn't one of those supposed to be for me?" Derek asks, and I'm immediately embarrassed.
"Sorry, I didn't even realize-"
"It's okay, you look like you need the extra cup."
I nod awkwardly.
"You okay?" Emily asks me in a low voice.
"Just tired."
"That's the same thing Reid said to me earlier."
My stomach does a backflip at his name. I have to keep reminding myself that I did the right thing.

He avoids me all day as much as he can. I suppose I do the same to him. We work on the case that's about an hour out form Quantico, and it doesn't take a us too long to figure out how to catch our unsub.
We drive back in groups, and unfortunately for me, Spencer is in the back of the black SUV just two feet from where I'm sitting. We don't make eye contact, we don't speak, we don't even look at each other. I keep my head on the window and don't say a word to anyone else in the car.
When we get back into our building, we do our usual after case procedures. I fill out some papers in my office and answer emails.
My mom texted me a while ago, so I decide to respond. She said 'Hey Y/n! Is work going well? How's your guy, Jake was his name?'
I text back, 'Hey mom! Work is fine, thanks for checking up on me after the injury last week. And Jake is out of my life.' She'd called me every single day when she found out I got hurt.
'Of course, you're my daughter! Oh no, what happened? He was cute and super smart!'
She's talking about Spencer. Shit.
'Oh. That's a long story. Spencer isn't Jake, but I'll explain later.'
     'What?'
     'I was dating this guy name Jake, but we broke up. Spencer works with me at the BAU, he's that genius I talked about when I first started.'
     'You lied to me?' then she texts again, 'Are you with him?'
     'We kinda had a thing, but not anymore.'
     'You like him don't you?'
     Mothers always know, darn instincts.
     'It's complicated.'
     'Whatever you say. Love you, hun.' I can feel her judgment.
     'Love you too mom.'
I head out of my office, and almost run into the last person I want to see. Spencer and I both stutter on awkward sorries and avoid eye contact.
It's a little after 9pm when I get back to my apartment. I plop down on my couch after slipping out of my clothes. After a bit, I decide to grab a snack out of my fridge and get ready for bed.
Coldness overwhelms my body as I lie down on my bed. My hair is damp from the shower I took, and my bedspread isn't warm enough right now for some reason.
It's hard for my mind to calm down and drift to sleep. Images of memories swim through my head; Spencer, unsubs fresh in my mind, victims, Spencer, my mom's happy face last time I saw her.
I'm used to having trouble sleeping. It sort of just comes with the job. I see a lot of disturbing things. The most disturbing thing is the mind though. Especially that of an unsub.
The human mind pisses me off. It takes us down unending paths involuntarily. Even our own minds can betray us. I know mine did. It listened to my heart, and I started a relationship I couldn't finish. Well, I guess I did finish it, but not in a good way.
I finally drift to sleep around midnight, and lucky for me I don't remember any dreams I have.