moontide//spencer reid

*13*

this one gave me such domestic life vibes at certain points omg.

content warnings: thigh-riding, penetrative sex, some degradation but also praise <3

crawling to the edge of the bed, I dig the heel of my hands into my closed eyes. even after a nap, my head is pounding. I didn't sleep the night previous, too caught up in my own emotions to do anything more than toss and turn.

I told JJ and Spencer to come over at six-thirty tonight, but I'm starting to reconsider. spending the rest of the evening in bed sounds like a much more welcome activity than testing out Rossi's pasta recipes. but I can't cancel; ever since the lake incident two weeks ago, I've been avoiding everyone-- except on cases. they're definitely starting to notice.

it's not that I don't want to see them, but I'm feeling such a strange mixture of things towards Spencer that keeping my distance is probably best. he outright told me he doesn't want to get involved, and I want to respect those boundaries. it's just hard when every time I look at him, I think of the dirty words he whispered in my ear. they send chills down my spine and then I'm right back to pathetic thoughts.

I've become nothing more than putty in his fingers, pliable and open to any request. it's unlike me, frankly, and it has to stop before things get even worse. I tried to get myself off a few times in the last two weeks, but each time the memories come back and I can't even begin to imitate what he did to me. as dumb as it sounds, he's already left a mark.

I change into some more presentable clothes, brush my hair, and wait by the couch. I've managed to clean a little of my living room, but it was mostly an act of moving the books to my bedroom. I'm staring blankly at a teetering pile of profiler guides when JJ texts me that she's here.

"hi!" I greet when I let her in.

"hey, Y/N. I brought the stuff." she lifts a paper grocery bag and I grin.

"yay! follow me." I lead her upstairs and back to my apartment, where she takes a brief look around and smiles softly. "sorry, it's messy." I blush.

"Reid will appreciate this. it looks like his place." she notes. I open my mouth to say that he has, in fact, seen it, but then realize that I can't say a word.

"really?" I turn away so she can't profile the feigned surprise.

"mhmm. paintings and books everywhere. where's your kitchen?"

"right." I grab it from her and we head into my small cooking area, where I've cleared the counter. she begins to unpack boxes of pasta and pancetta, some spices and cilantro. finally, there's an index card with Rossi's elegant handwriting denoting all instructions.

"looks like we need a pan and some olive oil. and a pot of boiling water." JJ reads. I get out supplies. we set to work, swaying our hips to Glenn Miller's "In the Mood" and chopping tomatoes. we break into laughter at each other's old-fashioned dance moves. the swell of trumpets and dynamic nature of the song make it even more fun. I'm examining one of the boxes of noodles when JJ sighs.

"dammit!" she slams her palms on the counter.

"what?" I almost drop the pasta.

"I forgot to get garlic."

"oh, that's okay." I shrug and try to make her feel better. "it's not that big a deal."

"yeah it is." she sighs and sets down the index card.

"hey, it's fine. I'll just text Reid to bring some." I shrug, pulling out my phone. the timestamp on our last texts date back to last week, when I thanked him for picking up a coffee for me on the way into work. his response was an emoji (he just learned about them and now uses them incessantly) of a coffee cup and thumbs-up. there's a slight ache in my chest as I remember the smile it put on my face. of course, he wasn't around to see my reaction; he was in Garcia's lair. but it still sort of made my day.