Telling him how you really feel.

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Note: TW! This story contains Self Harm. Kind of an eating disorder? If you are sensitive with those topics, please do not read! thank you :) Love you all! xx

Y/N POV:

You wake up with Harry cuddling each other. He has his arm around your waist and sleeping like a baby. You can't help but look at your boyfriend and think about how much he means to you and trying to figure out how to tell him all the things that's been going on recently. You don't want him to leave and think you have too many problems for him to handle.

"Y/N?" Harry says in a sleepily voice. "Hey, i'm sorry. did i wake you?" You ask "It's okay." he says with a sleepy smile. He flutter's his eyes open only to see you having a little smile on your face. "Are you okay babe?" he says with concern "Yea i'm okay. Why?" you say smiling

lie

"Just making sure. you look a little sad" "I'm good. i promise" you say

lie

You both get up to get some breakfast. Harry makes you some french toast and bacon. He sets the plate down in front of you and you look down at it. 'im going to regret this later' You look up and only to find Harry looking at you with a concern look. You smile at him and pick up a piece of bacon and eat it. He smiles at you.

gross.
fat.
ugly.
worthless.

"So.." Harry starts to talk. "Me and the boys have to go to the studio today and then go to an interview. So, it'll be a little late when i get home." You look up at him and look back down at your breakfast. "Okay." you say in a whisper tone. "What's the matter?" You reply with the smallest little smile. "Nothing Harry. I'm just going to miss you." You say sadly. "I'll be back sooner then you think. i promise. When i get home, we can cuddle and have an early night. how's that sound?" "good!" he leans in pressing his lips onto yours. "sounds like a plan."

skip ahead a few hours

Harry's gone and you decide to turn on the tv to watch your favorite show while you get on your laptop. You know it's a bad idea to get on twitter, but you can't help it. You log in but with instant regret because of Harry's toxic fans.

"You're gross."

"Harry can do so much better then her."

"She's so fat."

"Ew.. she needs to wear makeup."

You start tearing up when you see this one comment that sends you over the edge.

"Kill yourself. Nobody would care."

Tears instantly start pouring out of your eyes. You jump off the couch sobbing running to the bathroom, slamming the door behind you. You started crying even harder to the point where you were having trouble breathing. You look in the shower to see a razor clear as day on the side of the tub.

Do it.
Cut.
Harry doesn't love you. He never has.
You deserve to die.
Nothing will get better unless you do this.

You grab the razor and start cutting your arms. You wince in pain but you don't care. You feel a relief coming of your chest. You grab a wash cloth to wipe up the blood on your arm, and unlock the door and head to the bedroom. You are so exhausted from crying you decide to sleep until Harry gets home.

Harry POV:

I finally get in the house and come in with all the lights shut off. "'Y/N must be asleep' I thought. He goes to the fridge to get some left over pasta from last nights dinner. He eats that and goes upstairs to find Y/N on the bed sleeping. I take off my shirt and and jeans and crawl into bed. I feel Y/N move slightly over farther from me. "Sweetheart, what's the matter?" I say. She sighs and say in the smallest whisper "Nothing Harry." "Please turn around." I say. You turn around with your chest facing towards him, tears filling your eyes. He tries to pull you close against him to comfort you, but you pushes farther back against the wall refusing to make Harry feel and look at how disgusting you are.

No. He's going to feel your fat.
Don't look at him. He thinks you're ugly and judge.

"Baby.." I say in a soft tone. She look down avoiding my eyes. I lifts up her chin and look at her in the eyes. Tears falling down as I wipe them away with my thumb gently. "Talk to me. Please?" "I- I can't Ha- Harry. I'm scared." She say while crying. "Scared of what love?" I ask. "I-  I don't w- want you t- to leave me.." Im shocked and confused. Why would she think id leave her? "Breath Y/N. Just breath." I say. "Nothing you say will make me leave."

Y/N POV:

He hesitantly grabs my wrist to pull me closer to him into a hug. I wince in pain from the cuts on my arms. "Did i hurt you? I'm sorry.." he says. "It's okay." I say sniffling. He pushes a piece of hair off my forehead and kisses my forehead gently. "Harry.." i hesitantly say trying to find the right words to say. "Let it out. It's okay." He says. "I'm so tired. I tired of pretending everyday. I'm tired of being there for everyone when nobody is there for me. I'm tired of feeling insecure and fat. I cant do this anymore. I just want to give up. Fans are telling me to kill myself and that you don't love me." I finally say. Tears start welling up in my eyes. "Baby.." He pulls me closer. i'm trying so hard not to scream from the pain of my cuts.

"Y/N, you are so beautiful. So loving. So caring. Anyone in the world would be lucky to have you. I don't even know how i have you. You could find someone so much better but i got lucky." He says while tearing up. He tries to lift up my shirt im wearing but I freak out. i don't want Harry to see me. "It's okay." You look at him scared and unsure. "Hey.." he lifts his hand and starts to stroke your cheek. "You're okay, I promise." he reassure's you again. I nod hesitantly as he slowly moves my hand from my stomach kissing the back of it. He puts his hands on my tummy and rubs it. He notices how scared i look so he smiles a little smile showing that it's okay. i calm down a little. "The fans have no idea what they are talking about. You're perfect. They don't know the real you. You can't let them get to you. I wish you would have told me sooner.." "I know.. i'm sorry." I say "Im not leaving baby. Not when you need me the most."  I snuggle into his chest feeling safe. Like you're home. I fall asleep pretty fast not thinking about what you did in the bathroom.

Harry's POV:

I lay awake trying to figure out how to fix all of this. I look over at her and starts to smile. She looks adorable sleeping. Then I noticed something that broke my heart instantly. Your sleeves had been rolled up and he see's the cuts on your arm. I look at them in shock, trying to figure out what to say. "Y/N.. Y/N wake up please.." You wake up still half asleep when you realize that your sleeves had been rolled up. "Harry.. I- I-" She start tearing up again. I hold onto her for dear life. "No, baby, don't. No more crying. Okay? Why didn't you tell me..?" I say afraid of what she'll say. "I- I was going to but.." I instantly hug her close to stop her from talking, i'm glad she got the message. "I promise. I'm going to help you. I'm going to get you through this. I promise." I whisper. "I love you Y/N." "I love you to Harry."

A couple of years past and you are doing so much better. You are happy again. You finally realized your worth and how strong you really are. The best part? Harry is still by your side through everything. in

***
hiii! I'm sorry! The ending was so bad and the story is so short 😭. This is kind of my first story and i have no idea what i'm doing sometimes 😂 Thank you for reading. It means so so much to me! I'm here for anyone who needs to talk! I love you all! You guys are so strong! Also, comment your favorite Tv show! :) Byeee ❤️

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