The Delusions of Dreamers

Twenty Four

Satine's heart cracked to see her Padawan look so shocked and hurt, but she could not afford to let old feelings get in the way.  He had betrayed her.

Rolf glanced between the Jedi and the duchess, and he chuckled.  "I'll leave you to it.  I have business to attend to anyway." Then he got up and the steel door slid shut behind him, locking Satine in the room.  Alone with Obi-Wan.

She didn't know how to feel.  She had been so fond of the young Jedi for such a long time.  It didn't feel right to harbor hate for him.  She would not let her confusion reveal itself though, so she glared at Obi-Wan when he took a step forward.

His white robes were ripped and covered in soot and dirt.  Some tiny part of her wanted to strip those robes away, help the Padawan get cleaned up.  Satine ignored those impulses and clenched her fists.

"Satine..." Obi-Wan shuffled to her, and the duchess stiffened.  "I... are you mad at me?"

Was he serious? Of all the things he could have asked or said, of course the most stupid question came out of his mouth! "Am I mad?" Satine leaped off of the couch.  "Am I mad? Yes! You know how much I hate this war.  How much I didn't want you to get involved.  And you promised me that you wouldn't fight, but you did!"

Obi-Wan's face crumpled.  "You don't understand!" he hissed.  "Rolf threatened me.  He threatened you behind your back!" The Padawan started pacing and tearing his hands through his golden hair.  "He told me that if I didn't fight, he would kill you! And he told me that if I ratted him out—"

"No!" Satine screamed, tears appearing in her eyes.  She was surprised, scared, but she refused to believe that Obi-Wan was telling the truth.  "Those are lies! Rolf has shown me that he has changed over the past week! He would never do that!" Would he?

The young Jedi before her seemed to still, and he looked deep into her eyes.  "I have only ever lied to you once, Satine, and I did it to save your life." She blinked up at him, but then her anger and grief flooded back in.

"Well Rolf told me that nothing between us was real! You told him that you never truly cared for me.  That's what he said! That I was just a distraction for you!" The tears had escaped now, and they were chasing each other down her red cheeks.

There were tears rolling down Obi-Wan's face as well, but they were silent tears.  He was not shouting and stomping about like Satine.  He was calm and composed just like he always was, her solid rock, her tree trunk.  And although he seemed serene, the duchess could tell that something inside of him had broken.

The Padawan closed the distance between them, but he did not touch her.  "Do you love him?" he whispered.  She could not stand the shattered look in his blue eyes, so she glowered at the floor.

"No," she rasped.  Then she forced herself to look into his eyes, forced herself to endure the pain.  "No.  But I do not dislike him, not anymore.  He has been kind to me, and he has shown me that people can change.  We have spent so much time together, planning for the renovation of Mandalore and just sharing simple small talk.  At first, I had to put on an act, a facade.  Then, one day, I realized I wasn't pretending.  I was laughing with Rolf because I was genuinely enjoying his company.  I believe he truly cares for me..." It took everything in her to force out the words.  "unlike you."

Obi-Wan flinched as if she had slapped him.  "Satine, I'm glad your happy, but I never told Rolf that you were simply a distraction." His words slowly got faster and more panicked.  "I never told him any of those things! You are more important to me than anything and anyone, Satine!" He shuddered, and took a deep breath.  "You are my galaxy, my dear duchess." He hesitantly lifted his hand to cup her cheek.  She let him.  "I love y—"

"No!" Satine yelled, a huge wave of fear and sorrow and anger washing over her.  "Do not say that word! You once told me not to say it, so you don't speak of it either! It will only make it harder.  Harder than it already is!" She had never felt so wounded, and she had never seen Obi-Wan look so broken.  She hated it.

The Duchess of Mandalore wanted to comfort him, wanted to press her lips to his.  She wanted to push him away and banish him from her planet.  But before she could do anything, a loud BOOM shook the building and knocked her off of her feet.