Lost In Words

Poem 5

Anti-people
Dinonymous

The moon is my ally
The silence is the witness
The dreadful big black sky
And the stars theirselves' vastness

I know to myself I exerted much effort
Perseverance, enthusiasm, are some of the traits I possessed
To the place I aimed to be, I brang things of some sort
Different doors I'm from, sundries of notions and horrible experiences

I was once trapped in a labyrinth
Where night though filled with stars are blinded
I pushed myself out of my limits
But gained nothing, I almost fainted

My blurry eyes were almost covered with black atmosphere
Didn't invaded yet but caused a dreadful silhouette
I asked different deities why the hell am I here
But soon kneeled and ask for forgiveness, I just can't come to think of it

Swallowed the pride left in me
As I forget the rising pleasure inside of me
Erased the fake curve line drawn on my lips
Yet didn't pleaded to anyone, I chose to sleep

But as I close my eyes it haunts me
As I try to smile it hurts me
As I try to laugh it bounds on me
As I try to fight it weakens me

I want to burry myself, I found it so useless
I want to kill myself, I feel so worthless
I want everyone to leave me alone
No making of new memories to be hesitantly thrown

These four walls of my room,
For countless years have been my home
Portals locked up and no one else to sneak in
But something I can't tell seems to be missing

Little by little I believe I'm fixing myself
But little did I know I'm just building-up my wall
Bricks by bricks I felt a bit of peacefulness
I think I just wanted to be alone, so I made my walls so tall

High and tough enough to prevent people
For coming in just to leave me so miserable
In my own world, no one could ever discover,
The beauty of my room, my so-called shelter

I find it beautiful, I find it peaceful
It was like a piece of Universe is pasted inside this doom
And now, I can take a rest that I often skip
With no fear of people who'd possibly stab me while I'm asleep

Alone in the dark with the company of none
Safe from the world full of traitor friends
I really don't trust even just a single one,
I still remember how they make it to leave me in the end

It's okay not to be okay
It hurts when people promised to stay
But it causes more pain to see their backs fading away
While the wound gets painful day by day

But until when will I stay in this nowhere?
Could I live alone with no one's care?
Maybe i'll get out when my heart says so?
But I think it's already dead to do so

I'll just wait for that someone
Who will break in my beautiful world
Someone to sneak inside
Someone to breathe me back to life

#LostInWords