Nightingale~A Victorious Fanfic(ON HOLD)

Hospital/Waiting/I Love You

Erin's P.O.V.

    Okay, so maybe storming off slowly in the condition I was in was a horrible idea, but the pain was nothing compared to the agony I felt inside when I saw Jade there with me. Obviously, I wasn't good enough for her, so why the hell did she even care? I made it about thirty feet before my knees gave out, and I hit the hard ground of the alleyway hard, and couldn't get back up. Everything hurt, inside and out, and I felt cold and numb.. I thought I was finally dying, and wasn't too bothered by the idea, until I heard someone crying, and numbly felt someone's arms around me, my head in their lap. I slowly opened my eyes, and looked up, to see Jade sitting there, phone in hand, and crying hard, as she talked to someone on the other end. I couldn't make out more than a few words, drifting in and out of consciousness, but as I heard the sirens in the distance, it occurred to me she must have called 911.

     It took her a whole five minutes for her to notice me watching her, and when she finally noticed, the most ashamed look I had ever seen on anyone crossed her face, before she leaned down, and gently kissed my forehead. "It's going to be okay, Erin.. Just- Just don't die, okay? Please don't die. I messed up, like I always do, and I'm sorry. I never should've treated you like shit, or used you, and- I chose wrong.." At that point, I was starting to wonder if I was imagining things, because there was no fucking way she was apologizing or saying that she should have chosen me; Better yet, she was practically saying she did choose me over Beck, and I knew there was no way anyone would ever do that, let alone her.. I was a mess, inside and out, and not even half the person Beck Oliver was, and I knew it, down to my soul, so I whispered,"This is a nice dream.. I don't wanna wake up from it.. Beck is better than I am. I'm worthless.."

     Jade instantly tensed up underneath me, as the sirens grew closer and closer, and she shook her head. "No, you're fucking not. You aren't worthless, you dumbass.. You're beautiful, and sweet, and a badass, and why the hell you give two shits about my stupid ass I don't understand, but you are worth more than three of Beck put together." My heart skipped a beat at that, or maybe it was me dying, but I slowly smiled, still not really believing it, but letting myself feel happy about her picking me anyways. I heard her start calling my name, and felt her shaking me gently, as I drifted off into darkness. "Erin! Fuck, don't you dare die on me! Please.. Please, I'm sorry! Just don't leave me.." I couldn't answer, too numb and sleepy to even move, the cold darkness seeping into my body, and I dimly wondered what the other side would be like. Would I finally be happy, or be doomed to suffer even more in death? That was the question everyone asked themselves, wasn't it? Where did one go after dying, and was it better than life? I didn't know, or particularly care, but I fell into complete darkness, as I felt myself stop breathing..

Jade's P.O.V.

    I felt Erin stop breathing, as the ambulance pulled up in front of us, barely able to squeeze into the alleyway, and felt empty and lost, as I let them pull her from my arms, the EMTs shouting something about her flatlining and doing CPR. I couldn't comprehend it.. It was my fault. All of it was my fucking fault.. How had I never noticed she had feelings for me? Even with her avoiding me for three months, I'd noticed her in the background, watching me and Beck with pain in her eyes, and I was completely oblivious. What a dumbass I was.. I hadn't ever told anyone about when Beck and I fought except for her, and I should have shown her the bruises. She was the only one who got me, who saw past the cold, bitchy exterior I showed the world, and who had ever tried to care about me, besides Beck, but he hadn't seemed to care for awhile then..

     I'd hurt her, over and over again, used her as a sex object, practically abandoned her, and made her feel worthless, and yet, she still cared about me, despite how pissed she was. Why? Why hadn't I done something to show her that I cared, too? Over those three months, I hadn't forgotten her.. In fact, I'd wanted to talk to her so many times, but when either of us got too close, we'd both shut down and pretend it wasn't happening. Even if she'd avoided me, I could have said something to her, but I hadn't, and this was the result. She was hurt because she'd defended me against those guys, and they wanted to hurt her back, but they went too far.. I went too far. Now I was watching people rush around, trying to save the girl who had saved me multiple times, from my own self hatred and feeling alone.. That was the true Jade West that no one but her got to see, and she accepted that part of me, and held it in her hands, protecting it, when all I had ever done was toss her away like trash.