ghosts {jj&emily}

medicine

JJ's POV

"This is a pretty upscale neighborhood." I said as we walked through the crime scene.

Spence stopped at the mailbox, investigating it thoroughly.

"Hey guys come check this out," Spence called Hotch and Rossi over. "Blood."

He was right. Interesting. I sighed and looked up for a moment and that's when I saw her driving in some red car right passed us.

Emily. She was alive. Her hair was short and her eyes looked so different but it was her.

"GUYS!" I yelled, starting to run after the car. "IT'S HER, ITS EMILY!"

"JJ, what are you talking about?" Rossi said. The car made a left and I whipped around.

"That was her. In the car. We need to, we need to go get her." I exclaimed, feeling like I had just gotten the wind knocked out of me. I could not believe she was still alive. All of their faces sunk.

"Emily's dead. She's been gone for two years." Hotch said, lowering his voice. I shook my head violently.

"You're wrong!" I cried. "I saw her! I saw her with my own eyes! She was right there, didn't you see her!?"

People began to stare and Spence walked over to me.

"JJ," he almost whispered. "Why wouldn't she come see us then if it was her? She would've jumped out the moment she saw you."

I started breathing heavy and felt like I was going to cry. I needed them to believe me, so I could know I wasn't going crazy. I could have sworn it was her, I wouldn't make something like that up. And it could be acute stress causing me to hallucinate, it had been over two years.

I had already lost so much. I got hooked on Xanax the year before and it had almost cost me my job. This might set Hotch off and cause him to remove me from the BAU

"I don't know, I don't know why but it was her, I saw her Spence, it was her." My lip quivered and I started to cry. He brought me in and I held him as I cried.

Was I really going crazy? Maybe I didn't deserve my job at the bureau anymore.

Hotch walked over and placed his hand on my shoulder.

"Am I losing it?" I asked. He sighed and looked at me intensely.

"I think you need to take some time." He said. "And fully grieve her loss, so you can move on."

Move on? I hadn't even thought about that.

"I won't let you go." Spence said quietly.

I looked up at him and wondered if maybe he was what I needed all along.

2 weeks later

"Thank you so much Spence, I couldn't have done this without you." I said.

Spence ordered takeout for us and we were cuddled up on my couch afterwards. I was in my pajamas and so was he. It felt so cozy and domestic to be with him like that. Out of everybody in my life since Emily died, he had brought me the most peace.

I'd had a couple of weeks to think about it, and holding onto Emily truly was turning me upside down. If I didn't stop, it would cost me my career.

I needed to move on. And I had had Spence all along, he had never left my side. I couldn't think of a better person to rebuild my life with for the sake of my mental stability.

"I couldn't have done this without you. You're the only person in the world that knows me this well." He said with a soft smile.

I smiled at him and bit my lip, trying to figure out how to tell him how I felt towards him.

"Listen...I..." I couldn't finish my sentence and he smiled, moving closer.

"I think I know what you want to say." He said.

"Yeah?" I raised my eyebrows. From the look in his eyes, he was right.

"Yeah, and..." he smiled and moved even closer, grazing his hand down my cheek.

I flinched for a moment because all I wanted was her. But I had to move on. I had to move on.

Our lips met and I ran my fingers through his hair. I hadn't kissed anybody in over two years. The warmth that flowed through my body was oddly surprising.

I smiled and looked at him, our faces touching.

He was going to be so good for me.