ghosts {jj&emily}

a pain that i'm used to

JJ's POV

We were investigating the leaders of a nightclub, they were suspects in our murder case.

In order to get more information on them without revealing that we were suspicious, Hotch sent Emily, Derek, Spence and I undercover at the club.

"Alright! You guys ready?" Derek grinned, clapping his hands. He was definitely the most excited out of all of us.

"I kept trying to say, I don't enjoy clubs! This isn't a good idea!" Spence said. I smiled and wrapped my arms around his waist.

"Cmon, it could be fun!" I said. He looked at me, kissing my forehead.

"Fine." He smiled. I giggled and looked around, realizing Emily wasn't out of the bathroom yet. We only had ten minutes to get to the club.

"Yo! Em!" Derek called.

She then rounded the corner and took my breath away. Her hair was curled to perfection, tumbling down her back. She wore a tight sparkly red dress that made it impossible to focus on anything else.

I realized then that was how I felt about her before she left. And nothing had changed.

How do you unlove somebody, how do you un-want them?

"Lets go!" I said, eager for our attention to be drawn away from Emily. We got into the car, Derek driving, Emily in the passenger seat.

"No disrespect mama, but you look good!" Derek grinned, eyeing Emily.

I quickly looked away and held Spence's hand. I didn't need any stupid distractions that night.

We at first all split up, I went to the bar and looked around, trying to find anyone on our suspect list.

Turning around to look at the dance floor, I saw Emily surrounded by a group of men. My heart started beating faster and my ears were ringing.

I told myself this was just for a case and she wasn't even attracted to men.

I got up out of my seat and wandered onto the dance floor. I felt someone grab my ass and I looked to see a handsome older man. I smiled and started dancing with him, keeping my eyes on Emily.

We locked eyes and she smiled at me. She was like an angel.

And then something happened that transformed me into nothing and made me go crazy. A woman moved over to her and put her arms around her neck, and Emily's hands were on her ass. Emily winked and she moved in closer to the woman as they started to dance.

My heart was pounding so hard I could feel it throughout every part of my body.

I suddenly could feel her lips pressed against my body, our legs tangled in the sheets, her in and out of me for hours every night. I thought about the times I'd be on top of her and she would reach up and stroke my face. Or the nights things got too rough and I'd wake up with bruises and she would feel so guilty but I'd just laugh knowing how good it hurt.

Seeing her dancing with another woman made me lose my fucking mind. My veins were pulsing and I needed her like I needed the air we breathe.

I shouldn't have felt that way , watching her. And I knew exactly what I needed to do to fix it.

I needed to find Spence.

I pushed through the crowd and found him leaning up against one of the pillars.

"Come on, lets dance." I raised my voice over the music.

He was confused but I yanked him out onto the dance floor and ran my fingers through his hair.

The red lights brushed across his face and I licked his neck up to his chin.

"I'm ready." I whispered in his ear. He tensed up and grabbed me tighter.

"JJ...we're on a case." He murmured, but I could hear him smiling. I slipped my hand up his shirt.

I needed him to fuck the Emily out of me.

He pulled me closer to where I could feel his bulge.

"Bathroom?" I whispered, grabbing him. His breathing got heavier but he nodded quickly. I knew he had been waiting for this for a long time.

We pushed passed the people, searching for the bathroom.

My mind was turning upside down and the only thing I could think about was how good it would finally feel once the memory she had left in me was driven out.

I had waited for her for years and I was tired of it. I was only hurting myself, Spence, and our relationship more by holding off on having sex with him.

He lifted my dress up, bending me over the bathroom sink and quickly undid his pants.

I gripped the edge of the counter and tried to be as quiet as I could as he went in.

This wasn't anything like me. Emily had made me fucking crazy. But I felt myself slowly start to rid her from my body. His fingers dug into the sides of my hips as he moved in and out of me, grunting lowly.

I met my eyes in my reflection and saw nothing but a stranger.

What had I become?