No law in love

1

Tonight wasn't an exception. Natasha tossed and turned, sweat beaded on her forehead.

Every night, when she closed her eyes, the nightmares came tormenting her. Memories. From the red room, from her training. The horrible things she has done, was forced to do against her will. Missions for the KGB where she had to kill innocent people. She was the greatest spy Russia has ever seen - heck, the whole world - but she never wanted any of it. Sao Paulo. The hospital fire. The famous Black Widow remembered every pair of eyes she has ever deprived of life. They haunt her every night.

A New beginning, SHIELD, the  Avengers all helped her overcome the person she once was. Every mission, fight, war that she fought helped her gradually wipe the red out her ledger.

But the nightmares never stopped. They made her suffer every night, destroying every chance of a decent nights sleep she ever had. She never complained or talked to anyone about it though: she thinks she deserves it.

Natasha got up from her torn bed since she knew she won't get another minute of blissful sleep. She decided to go on her morning run which always helps her relax and clear her head. It was 4 am, the streets of New York are mostly empty at this time. She put on some basic black leggings, an oversized shirt and a pair of jogging shoes, a baseball hat, put her crimson red hair in a ponytail and as she looked in the mirror she couldn't help but notice how her dark circles are becoming deeper.

"I have to find a way to sleep." She noted to herself.

Exiting her apartment building the fresh morning breeze caressed her face. Perhaps the only thing that fills Natasha with the slightest bliss nowadays. Ever since the Avengers broke up the red-haired spy was in some serious need of serotonin.

"Get yourself together Natasha, you're being pathetic. This is a new day to investigate some more." she said to herself as her legs took up a comfortable pace for jogging.

During her run she encountered multiple different people: young adults at the beginning of their lives going home still drunk after a night out. She never got to have fun in that way and she wished that once she could just get loose with someone it that way. Couples walking, hand in hand, smiling, laughing, stealing kisses, not caring about the world, their eyes filled with lust and...love. Her mind uncontrollably wandered to her partner, whom she last showed any kind of PDA with. 

"Kiss me."

"What?"

"Public Displays of Affection make people very uncomfortable"

"Yes, they do."

She kissed him without saying anything else. She had to act fast, Rumlow was reaching them on the escalator.

"Still uncomfortable?"

"That's not exactly the word I'd use."

What she didn't expect is when their lips touched each other, she felt something. A tension releasing but also building up. Fireworks playing in her head, butterflies in her stomach. She always had very strong chemistry with Steve Rogers and at that moment she felt... Home. He then told Natasha he wants her to be a friend... that hurt her. She didn't show it, she was trained to hide all emotions. After that, Natasha tried to channel her emotions for Steve into something else, or rather, someone else but that was a big mistake. Not only did the guy completely disappear after their kiss, but she didn't feel anything for him. To this day Natasha still cringes out at the whole Bruce fiasco. She so desperately wanted to forget that she lost herself in the process. Naturally, she learned to cope. She learned how to live with all these unexplained feelings for her partner, pushing them to the back of her mind. She wasn't in love with him, she didn't think, or, she couldn't think that. After all, love is for children, isn't it?

After her run, she stopped for coffee at a small remote coffee shop. Black americano is her usual order, but today, just to cheer herself up she got something way too sweet and overpriced with a long name she couldn't even bother to remember. She was walking, sipping the sugary drink when her instincts kicked in. She wasn't sure why, but Natasha is the best spy in the world, her 6th sense is danger. She noticed something, or someone, who looked familiar. Tall, long brown hair, and as she examined the man walking in front of her, looking down his arms, she noticed something silver shining. It wasn't a ring. Metal fingers. Metal arm. Bucky?

"What the he-" She spoke up as someone grabbed her from behind, putting their hands on her mouth to stop her from screaming. 

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hey guys! this one is a tad shorter than I plan my chapters to be, but the ending came out real good to leave yall on a cliffhanger i had to

anyways comments are always welcome