Bound in Love

Chapter 2

Chris reached outside as fast as he could heaving. Under the awning of the front door of the emergency department of the hospital, he bent over and rested his hands on his knees while breathing fast and heavy. He swore he could not breathe. Tears came to his eyes again and he let them fall free there. As his face got soaked from the water pouring from his eyes, he started sobbing not able to control it anymore, but no one could hear him for the rain dropping over the metallic roof above their heads was too noisy and he had chosen a hidden corner in the dark to let all his hurt out. His heart was breaking over and over again. The pain he felt that moment was almost physical. It was excruciating. He couldn't believe she had done something like that. Or how fast she had been to be with someone else. Ellie had been in the arms of another man... it was devastating him.

Chris stood straight and wrapped his hands behind his neck trying to subside his crying. Trying to calm down. He didn't want to hurt that way, but knowing she had been in the arms of another man was beyond unimaginable. It destroyed him inside. Another man touched her skin and felt her scent. Another man kissed her lips and made love to her. Another man got her pregnant... He hadn't been capable to be with other women and he had all the chance to do so. He felt betrayed, for he still hoped she'd come back to him soon. He still loved her with all that he was, with all his soul. Ellie was his everything and without her there was nothing.

"Fuck..." He whispered and cried again, kicking the air's emptiness.

She would never come back. Everything was lost...

Then, he cleaned his eyes and searched for a smoke in the pockets of his jeans, but all he found was the lighter. He slapped his palm against his forehead as he remembered the pack of cigarettes was in his jacket as well as his wallet which had all his money and his documents. His jacket was upstairs in the room where he had left her.

"Fuck." He whispered again, knowing he had to go back there.

Chris shook his head as more tears assaulted his eyes and cleaned them trying to dry his eyes the best he could. He didn't want her to see that he had been crying. Though he knew, he had not been able to disguise his disappointment and hurt when the nurse said the word baby. Ellie knew him well. She was probably the person who knew him better in the whole world after Andy, but since Andy had died, she was the only one. She could read into him just by looking in his eyes, and in that moment, the moment they locked eyes in each other, he knew she had seen all his anguish, all his hurt, and all his disappointment.

"Ok..." He said running his fingers over his long hair. "Be a man." He said.

With that, Chris came back inside the hospital. The emergency room was even noisier and more chaotic than a while ago when he first arrived. It seemed the night was an accident prone. As he did not need any instructions this time, he followed the same blue line until he reached the elevator. The doors were still opened, so he got in and pressed 2. As the doors closed, Chris took deep breaths to calm down, for he didn't want to break down in front of her. When the doors opened, he got out feeling a bit more confident. He greeted the nurse behind the counter again.

"You're going to number thirteen, right?" She asked just to be sure.

"Ellie Cornell, yes." He said.

The nurse nodded, authorizing him to proceed. As he said her name, his hurt was substituted for some sort of anger. She had his name. They were still married. She got pregnant! Chris fastened his pace to make that visit as short as possible. He wouldn't even look at her or say anything to her. He'd grab his jacket and he'd leave, without even looking at her. Still, when he got close to her door, he stopped walking to mentalize himself of all that. Then, he looked around and he perceived something he hadn't when he first got there completely worried about her state. It had written obstetrics all over and he didn't see it.