"𝐲𝐞𝐬, 𝐢'𝐦 𝐚 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐮𝐬." ♛ 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐢𝐝 𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐬

jeopardy

     in which you play jeopardy with spencer- which is the equivalent to having a death wish, by the way- and have a nice adult people chat. because love is never easy, but isn't it so worth the trouble?

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

     "edgar allen poe."

     "are you kidding me?!"

     "it was a very simple question, actually, you see-"

     you sighed defeatedly- but with a bit of exaggeration, of course- to shut him up. he's gotten every single answer on jeopardy right without fail, and faster than you ever could have; with his inhumane reading speed, eidetic memory, and penchant for beating you at things just solely to make you angry, he was a monster... and the worst person to play the game with.

     "you can't even give me a chance, spencer?"

     "maybe you should just know the answers."

     "oh, you son of a-"

     spencer held up his hands in surrender and mocked you with squinted eyes, "hey, watch the language, baby!"

"i swear to god, i am gonna kill you."

there's often nights where spencer isn't home to spend time with you. being an agent of the BAU takes up a lot of time, and often days or even weeks of it he spends away from you; you don't mind, because you know how he's making the world a better place. you do miss him a lot though. sometimes you feel like a nuisance, practically waiting around for the man you love to come home- you don't want to distract him, or guilt him into coming home just to see you. you never want to make him feel like he's obligated to you. it may be a silly thought, but it eats away at you with every phone call full of "i miss you"s and "i promise i'll come home soon"s.
the nights he's away, you watch jeopardy on the television. you're bright and you're capable, but not nearly as bright as him. nobody is. and even though you don't ever know the answers, it's comforting to know that he does- and if he was sitting beside you, he'd say them out loud, using that beautiful mind of his to blow you away for the millionth time. the game show helps you keep him and that genius brain of his close when he's so far away. and now he's proven that his genius can be quite irritating when actually around to prove itself, but you don't really mind.

spencer noticed a familiar far away look in your eyes he only sees ever so often. grabbing the remote, he turned the volume down a bit and turned to sit crisscross on the couch beside you. "what's on your mind?" he quizzed, leaning in a bit.

     it's always a battle to tell him the truth, especially if it's going to embarrass you. but you've learned since you met him that if you choose not to tell the truth, he'll figure out the lie before you even make it up. unsurprisingly, there are downsides to dating an FBI profiler.

     you sucked in a slow breath before responding, "i don't know. i guess i just... miss you."

     "i'm right here."

     "i know that, stupid! i just miss you all the time. and i know you can't help it, and i don't want you to, i'm happy you're doing such amazing things with your life and i'm so proud of you! it's just- i mean... i don't know. i'm sorry."

      spencer's hazel eyes are always such a pretty color, but especially when he's emotional. sad, angry, confused- any intense emotion takes the watery color and darkens them like a lake in the middle of the night. and right now, they deepened as he stared, swimming with a soft regret.

     "i miss you every second i'm away."

     "me too, spence. i just worry. i worry you're distracted by me, knowing i'm waiting, or that you're dreading coming home to see me. i feel clingy," you nearly mumbled, just barely speaking loud enough for him to hear you. the show was still running in the background, the noise jumbling your thoughts. "i- i worry all the time that you're gonna get hurt or god forbid something worse, and the last thing you'll remember of me is that... i was waiting for you. i know it's stupid, but i can't help it. i feel like i'm holding you back, almost. i don't know, does that make sense?"

     silence was never heavy with spencer. he listened the way a parent would, but without the same air of authority or i-know-better-than-you attitude. and even though he in fact did know better, he never treated you like it. he was accepting- and his arms were, too, as he offered them up to you.

     "i want you to listen for just a second, okay?" the doctor placed his free hand over your head, running through the loose pieces of hair as gently as he could.

     "okay."

     "what i want you to know is that you don't need to worry about what i think of you. i wouldn't be with you if i didn't care about you, or if i felt like i had to stay. i'm with you because i care about you more than everything i've ever known. i only work so hard at my job because i want you to see a world where you're always safe, especially with me," circles on the curve of your neck let you melt into his hug just a bit more as he spoke over your head. if you weren't listening so intently, you might've fallen asleep. "i think about you all the time, but that only helps me at work. you're not a burden, you're not a distraction, and i certainly don't dread coming home to you. i dread leaving you here, actually- i wish i could be with you all the time."

     sometimes you wonder why you doubt yourself, or doubt him. all your life you've doubted yourself and what you're worth; who really cares, who will stay, who won't abandon you. you've been plagued with questions for as long as you could remember. spencer never tries to profile your life, because he doesn't want to invade your privacy with his mind-picking. sometimes you wish he would, though. you want to know what exactly makes you feel so insecure sometimes, and how you can fix yourself. but when he reassures you like this, you forget all that. it's just him, and it's just you, and you don't need anything else to matter but that.

     "i think we missed the end of jeopardy."

     "i won."

     "i know you did, genius."

     spencer laughed, and you felt it rumbling in his chest, warm and happy beside your cheek pressed against him. he squeezed you tighter, and laughed one more time when he felt you smile against his shirt.

     "i love you. more than everything,"

     "if you love me so much then you should let me win next time."

      "no way in hell will i let that happen."

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

     ok so i'm so tired. that's it

     brb while i struggle to write anything remotely worth posting 😀

- Lead Advisor of the Spencer Reid Smiling Gifs Collections Agency,
somethingheavenknows