The words he’d said kept echoing in my head. “I was the one you were texting all along. It’s always been me.”
How was I supposed to react to that? A part of me wanted to scream at him for not telling me the truth from the beginning. Another part of me felt… betrayed. All this time, I thought I had been confiding in someone who really understood me, someone who wasn’t in my life the way Jungwon was. But the truth? The truth was that he had been right there, watching me talk about my crush, giving me advice—his advice, when I didn’t even know it was him.
It stung more than I expected.
-
I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I kept replaying the conversation in my head. Each time, the sting felt sharper.
I had always trusted Jungwon. He was the kind of person who made you feel safe, like you could tell him anything without fear of judgment. He was kind, always there when I needed him, and I thought our friendship meant something. But then, to find out that he had been the one texting me all along and keeping it a secret... it felt like a betrayal.
I pulled my blanket around me, curling up on my bed, staring at the ceiling, and trying to push away the knot of frustration building in my chest.
Why didn’t he just tell me?
I had known him long enough to know that he wasn’t the type to lie—at least, I didn’t think he was. But that’s exactly what it felt like. A lie of omission. And that made it worse. He had kept this huge thing from me, and for what? To protect my feelings?
I frowned, frustration bubbling up. I didn’t need his protection. I needed his honesty.
-
I was avoiding him.
The moment I saw Jungwon at school, my heart did that annoying fluttering thing. The same thing that happened whenever he was around, and it made me angry. Why was my heart still acting like it cared when he was the one who messed everything up?
I walked past him quickly, not meeting his gaze. I couldn’t look at him. Not right now.
I could feel his eyes on me, though. It was like he was trying to say something, trying to fix things. I heard his voice calling my name, but I didn’t stop. I couldn’t.
Why did it have to be him? Why did the one person who had made me feel so safe have to be the one to hurt me like this?
-
I sat with my friends, picking at my food, barely tasting it. My mind was a million miles away, still tangled up in thoughts about Jungwon. My friends noticed, of course. They always did.
“You okay, Jiwon?” Hana asked, leaning forward with concern. “You’ve been awfully quiet today.”
I forced a smile. “Yeah. Just tired.”
“Is it because of… you know…” Mina trailed off, giving me a look that clearly asked about Jungwon.
I nodded stiffly. “Yeah. I don’t know. I just... I don’t get it.”
“What do you mean?” Hana asked, clearly confused. “I thought you guys were close. But it doesn’t seem like it’s going well.”
I shook my head, frustrated. “It’s not about being close. It’s the lying. He lied to me, and I don’t know why. He should have just told me the truth from the beginning. Why keep something like that from me?”
“You know he’s probably just trying to protect you, right?” Mina said gently. “He’s probably worried about how you’d react.”
I sighed, running a hand through my hair. “Maybe. But it doesn’t change the fact that he kept it a secret. If he really cared, he would’ve been honest.”
Hana frowned. “You really think he doesn’t care? Because from everything I’ve seen, he looks like he’s completely falling for you.”
I stiffened. The words hit me like a punch, but I couldn’t quite find the strength to disagree.
-
I tried to avoid him the rest of the day, but fate seemed determined to throw us together. I was walking down the hallway when I saw him—Jungwon was standing near the lockers, looking at me with that hopeful expression on his face, like he was waiting for me to stop.
I couldn’t do it. I turned and started walking the other way, trying to ignore the pang of guilt in my chest. But it didn’t work. I heard him following me, his footsteps too familiar, too urgent.
“Jiwon, please,” he called out, his voice low but filled with something desperate.
I froze, heart racing. Why does he still care?
I turned around slowly, facing him. “What is it, Jungwon?”
He stepped closer, his hands slightly trembling. “I’m sorry. I know I hurt you, and I didn’t mean to. I just... I didn’t know how to tell you. I didn’t want to ruin what we had.”
I swallowed hard, blinking back the sudden tears that pricked at my eyes. “You did ruin it, Jungwon. By not being honest with me.”
He flinched, but didn’t back away. “I know. And I’m sorry. But I never wanted to hurt you. I just didn’t know how to tell you that I’ve liked you for so long. It felt too risky.”
“Why risk it at all?” I said bitterly, unable to hold back the hurt in my voice. “If you really cared about me, you wouldn’t have kept this from me. You’d have told me from the start.”
Jungwon’s face fell, the guilt in his eyes too much for me to bear. “I was a coward,” he admitted quietly. “And I’m sorry. I should’ve trusted you.”
I stepped back, shaking my head. “I don’t know if I can trust you anymore.”
The words hung between us, and for a moment, I felt like I was suffocating.
-
I lay in bed, the same restless thoughts swirling around in my mind. I couldn’t shake the feeling that maybe I had been too harsh, that maybe I should’ve listened to him more. But my heart—my heart felt too raw, too hurt. How could I ever look at him the same way after this?
I pulled the blanket over my head and closed my eyes. I didn’t want to think about Jungwon. Not now.
But even as I tried to shut him out, I couldn’t help but feel the ache in my chest. Because no matter how hurt I was, no matter how much I felt betrayed, a part of me still wanted to believe that what we had could be fixed.
But did I even want that anymore?
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✓ 𝗜'𝗠 𝗖𝗨𝗧𝗘𝗥. | enhypen .ᐟ yang jungwon
Fanfiction( 𝗜'𝗠 𝗖𝗨𝗧𝗘𝗥 ) "One dare, one text, and a whole lot of feelings." --- It all began with a simple dare-one that led to an unexpected connection. Jiwon Park, a quiet transfer student, received a random text that read, "I'm cute." Thinking it was...