Ambivalence (for fanboys!:)*gay

Denialist

Jackson Hyungs P.O.V.
When I heard the recording sent to me by Woonie about Y/N and how he was feeling down, I got a little worried. But at the same time I liked the part where he said he was a little more to the gayer side, because after hanging out with Y/N for a long time, especially his pecks on lips or cheeks and hugs, I started becoming a little gay for him. I even told our members and they too confessed that they too were gay for him, and I don't mind sharing him with my members. So after I listened to the recording, I texted Johnny and sent him the recording and called him just as I said.
Jackson: *on the phone Hello Johnny?
Johnny: Yes hyung? And by the way, wuts this recording? In Y/N's voice?
Jackson: Woonie had called me and told me that Y/N has been feeling a little down lately for some reason and that whenever they try talking he changes the subject. So I asked him to talk to him about it and disorders and shit and woonie sent me this recording which I had sent to you.
Johnny: huh? Our Y/N?! He is so cheerful and all. I guess this saying is true after all.
Jackson: which?
Johnny: the more a person smiles or laughs, the more that person is hurt deeply inside.
Jackson: yah! stop making my hunches become true! Anyways, Woonie asked if we were free today so we can go and babysit Y/N while the others will be gone out.
Johnny: sure hyung! I'm free the whole day today.
Jackson: I'm free afternoon onwards so I'll come to pick you up around 1:30pm. Sounds good?
Johnny: yup! Ok bye hyung, I gtg because Taeil is literally fighting with Haechan about who will get to hug Mark first, and Taeyong is freaking out a little cuz Jisung is acting crazy, running around the house *chenle starts screaming for sweets aaaaand Chenle is doing his dolphin scream, lol!
Jackson: what goes on in both our houses is too much but fun! Hahahaha! So see u in the afternoon.
Johnny: u too hyung!*call ends
So then I call Woonie to inform him that we'll be there at 1:45pm and continued my practice. After hours it became 1:25pm and so I went to pick Johnny and then we left together for The StarZ dorm to take care of Y/N. We reached there around the said time. We entered their dorm and heard our names being called and everyone came and hugged us. But one person was missing and as expected, it was Y/N.
Jackson: where's our baby boy Y/N?
Johnny: I hear music!
C-Woo: right! You know everything about him and what he likes and all. And you're hearing music because he is dancing. He has been dancing since 6:30 am! I'm literally worried about him. But I must say he dances just like a professional dancers boss.
Jackson: there's a reason he's the main dancer. Is it okay if we see him dance and then we have fun?
C-Woo: yea sure!
So me and Johnny removed our coats and then went upstairs to their practice room while the others left. Just when we entered, "Sit Down! - NCT" started playing and we could see him sweating profusely 'cause his shirt was wet and damp and we could see his abs through the shirt. Me and Johnny were impressed excessively by him so we kept watching him.
Y/N P.O.V.
Today I just fell a little too depressed and when I'm so, I try overworking by dancing to various songs from my playlist and I just go crazy. Okie! CHAOTIC - MONSTA X! FANTASIAX ALBUM -MONSTAX! I was dancing to "it ain't over-monstax" when I just realized that the time was 1:50pm. I decided to dance to "Mad dog and Interlude: Neo zone-NCT". But every time I feel myself and the music, the lights start flickering and then in the mirror in front of myself I see myself with cute devil horns and black elegant wings and little sharp canines and without a shirt with ripped abs. It was like I was some dance demon of another dimension. I was feeling very sticky and hot due to the sweat so I decided to remove my shirt and dance to the last "two" songs, with more energy and sexiness. The last songs were "TA-Straykids" , "Not by the moon-GOT7", "Hard carry-GOT7" and "Super car-SuperM". And then I decided to take a shower and took my shirt in my hands while listening to "Just right-GOT7". I was caught by surprise when I saw Jackson and Johnny hyung in the living room next to my room. I just stared for a moment and gave my best smile and greeted them and just walked briefly to my room before shutting the door softly. They just saw my upper body! Well it's not like I didn't want them to see it- I mean I didn't- No!- I just went to take a shower and put on brightly colored clothes and took my plushie in my hand and then went out listening to "N/S-Straykids" on Bluetooth earphones with my ears red by shyness but a bright smile on my face, which made them chuckle softly and then I did too while coming closer to them and tightly hugging them. The minute I hugged them and when they showered compliments on me saying that when they saw me dancing. I didn't care whether they saw me dancing without my shirt, I just seemed to forget about all the abuse I had gotten and the bruises. But then by bruises I remembered that I was bruised on my whole body, including my upper body!
Y/N: hyung by the way did you see some purple and reddish marks on my body while I was dancing?
Jackson: actually yeah. I was gonna ask how you got those bruises?
Y/N: that's the point, I was actually painting with purple and red and blue paints with the hyungs and then they decided to put paint marks on my body and have fun. I too started laughing as it tickled, and I decided to wash it off after I dance cuz then I'd be sweating and I wouldn't have to take bath twice!
Johnny: oh, well they kinda did look like bruises. Anyways, Woonie told us that you had been looking sorta depressed. Is everything ok?
Y/N:*widened eyes for a second Umm, yea everything is ok! If I actually look a little sad, you need to blame this quarantine u know? It's really boring but now I can stop being bored by dancing. It's fun. You guys should listen to "No sugar coated love-Tape machines". Nice for anything. *mumbles even when depressed..
Jackson: dancing is ok, good actually. But from 6:30am to 1:50pm? Tell us if anything is wrong we can help you solve it. Even if it's personal we need to talk so it can not hurt your mental state.
Y/N: *gets up a-are you guys hungry? Cuz I'm so hungry! Lol, I didn't eat from morning so I'll take cereal and do you guys want anything to eat? *already in kitchen
Johnny: umm no thanks? But weren't we talking about something?
Y/N: *pretends to not hear and pours milk and then cereal What do you guys watch in the morning while having breakfast? I watch Doraemon! It's funny u know! Lol. *comes back and sits on couch in between them
After I finished my breakfast we decided to play monopoly and unbox a few key unlocking boxes. Thankfully they forgot about what we were talking about before.
Johnny hyungs' P.O.V.
Time kept passing by and it soon became 6 pm. We decided to watch a movie called "Alive"; it was a zombie movie that Y/N seems to like and also since we couldn't think of anything else to do or talk about that topic again otherwise Y/N would just try to avoid the topic and distract us into something else. The move got over at 7:30pm and we decided to rest a little. I felt Y/N's head on my shoulder slowly slipping down to my lap. He must have been tired today. So me and Jackson hyung lifted him up and took him to his bedroom so he could comfortably sleep. We came back outside and sat on the couch, staring at the air. The silence was broken when we heard a phone ring on the table. I went to see who was it and then noticed it wasn't either of our phones, so then it must be Y/N's. The caller who was calling had been named "Fucking Bastard Trainer". Tf? I took the phone and gave it to Jackson hyung to talk to.
Trainer: *on the phone It was about time you had picked it up you bastard! How fucking long do I have to fucking wait for you to get your mother-fucking ass here!?! Just wait till you get here!
Jackson: *immediately cuts the call, facing me Who the fuck was talking to our Y/N like that?!
Johnny: I don't know hyung, must've been a wrong number?
Jackson: wrong number my foot! The number was registered under the name "Fucking Bastard Trainer"! Meaning Y/N hates him or something like that!
Johnny: hyung, I actually had a plan B just in case we couldn't get him to tell what was going on or anything.
Jackson: *widened eyes what? What is it?
Johnny: I actually have this button camera and since Y/N is wearing a buttoned shirt, if I put it on him, it won't be noticeable even if he looked at it carefully.
Jackson: do it. But without waking up my baby.
Johnny: lol, ok hyung.
I tip-toed as softly as I ever could and went to Y/N's room. He looked like a total angel even when he was asleep. I opened the top two buttons and fastened the button camera onto it but I felt my heart racing as my face was closer to his than usual, and especially that recording that hyung had sent me; the last part felt like I was literally confessing my love for Y/N. Im actually bi-sexual but then I became a little more to the gayer side after I met Y/N, especially his pecks, hugs and love and I also had actually told my members about this and they too confessed that they were gay for him, and I didn't mind sharing him with my members; and at the same time I could feel myself blushing but since he wasn't awake, I calmed myself faster and then felt a bulge in my pants. Fuck, it had to happen fucking right now?! I just gave the bulge a few strokes until I came and I could feel the sticky substance come really slow through my boxers, but since I was wearing leather pants, it didn't make a visible stain and I felt so calm and relaxed but weird cuz it was running sooooo slowly. I then slowly buttoned his shirt back and gave him a peck on his forehead and stole a kiss and went back out like nothing happened. Jackson hyungs face looked a little confused as to why I took time, and I lied telling him that the button was hard to open softly. Jackson hyung then gave an "Oh." reaction and then I gave Jackson hyung a thumbs up and then we decided to wake him up and acting like nothing happened. We went to his room together and woke him up. Oh my, how fluffy and adorable he looked! I just wanted to squish the life out of his cheeks and kiss him so bad! Shit, what are u thinking Johnny?! Focus! Then I lifted off the blanket and slowly stroked his hair and cheeks, and as a result he opened his eyes softly and squinted at the light the open bedroom door was revealing, so he covered his eyes with his cute but slender hands, cutely.
Johnny: *smiling Did our Y/N have a refreshing rest?
Y/N: *smiles back widely and then pecks our lips softly Yup!
Jackson: *looking somewhat flustered T-T-That's my boy! Well we're sorry if we disrupted your sleep, but somebody called and told you to come down for exercising. *lying He sounded a little worried.
Y/N: *little worried Worried? Did he curse or anything?
Johnny: Ye-
Jackson: no! Not at all! Instead he asked where his prized boy was.
Y/N: *super confused look Really? Ok then, I'll head out and I guess you guys can go home since I'll be with him for about 2-4 hours.
Johnny: *still a little flustered oh it's ok. We'll meet up with your hyungs and then go. If that's ok with u.
Y/N: of course! Come on hyung! U know that I will let u stay here how much ever u would like to right?
Jackson: hahahah! We know that kid! Ok u can go now, ur trainer must be waiting!
Y/N: okie!
Johnny: but before you go can u tell me the password of your computer? We just want to play something.
Y/N: are u sure? Not to put some porn on there?
Jackson: *trying to hold laughter lol, why would we do that?!
Y/N: *laughing out loud I D K HYUNG! *wheezing u-u-u make me laugh so much m-m-my stomach hurts. Argh! Hahahhhaaahaaaa! W-W-What ever the password is Hobi188. I made that password years ago so no judging me hyungies. Lol, bye bye! Love ya!
While slowing down his laughing to giggling, he got up and fixed his hair, lovingly hugged us, put his headphones and pretended dancing funnily but cutely. After he went we opened his computer, went to the button camera site, put the number of the button camera (which we had written down on a piece of paper), and it began working! We could hear Y/N humming to a song on headphones and we could see everything that would be displayed in front of him, and whenever he thinks that no one's watching, we would be watching. A few minutes passed of him going to the elevator and to a private gym where I could see his trainer waiting, tapping his foot impatiently looking a bit angry. He looked a little older than Y/N, maybe in his 20's and then for some reason I felt really jealous and angry, I quickly changed my expression to a normal one before seeing Jackson hyungs' expression. He too looked mad and....jealous? He then quickly changed his expressions and I quickly turned my head to the screen before he turned to look at me.
Johnny: hyung, can I tell or like, ask you something?
Jackson: sure wut is it?
Johnny: ummm, do you like Y/N?
Jackson: do you?
Johnny: y-y-yes..? Even my members they like him...
Jackson: *widened eyes coincidence! Even my me and my members like him too!
Johnny: he has literally all the impossible but godly features that no normal human can have hyung!
Jackson: I know right?!-
Johnny: hyung the camera!
Jackson: oh ye! Let's have a look.
Anyways, when the camera was focused on the trainer, that means Y/N also sees him. But when he saw him, his steps started to slow down and I could hear his breath get heavy. We (especially me) got worried, but when we started getting worried it just became worse. The trainer was fucking HITTING Y/N! HE IS A FUCKING TEENAGER! NOOO, A BABY! We were seeing how the trainer kicked him and punched and abused him until he started throwing up blood. No wonder he had a private gym. Seeing the blood on the floor Jackson hyung said that he felt like fainting. The trainer then put the now-unconscious Y/N beside and cleaned the floor until it looked like it was only covered in sweat. I got so angry that I decided to go down and confront the trainer. But then we heard Y/N whimpering in pain saying curse words at him, but it just resulted in Y/N getting kicked about 4 times until he got up holding his stomach in pain. That's when they started doing their exercise but Y/N would get hit even for the smallest mistake or for being goofy! No wonder Y/N always wears black when he goes out so that the blood stains wouldn't be visible. He then started free styling to Stealer-Monsta X in the mirrored dance room. But something was off whenever he was in front of the mirror. Before when we came and were watching Y/N dance, at the end when I saw him in the mirror, his shirt was off and he had elegant black wings and no bruises but in reality there was nothing like that. The same thing happened when he was dancing in here. Just then we heard his hyungs unlock the door and come in......