One Shot Stories Collection

6 - My Strength

"Time of death: 9:35pm..."

Makailang beses nang umaalingawngaw ang mga iyon sa pandinig ko. Batid kong malinaw na malinaw ang pagkakasabi niyon pero bakit parang ayaw tanggapin ng sistema ko?

Inilibot ko ang tingin ko sa loob ng silid na ito, kitang-kita ko 'yung taong nakahiga at unti-unting inaalisan ng mga aparatong matagal ding umalalay sa nanlalatang katawan niya. Nakapanlulumong tignan ang sinapit niya kasabay pa ng mga hikbing bumabalot sa naturang silid.

"I am sorry, but we really did everything to revive her..." the doctor said that makes it more hard for me to breathe and absorb the current situation in here.

As I look around, I saw him. Silently holding his tears. Bakas na bakas sa maamo niyang mukha ang pagod at labis na paghihinagpis sa sinapit ng taong mahal niya. Sino nga bang makakalimot sa kung paano nagsimula ang pag-iibigan nila?

Parehas silang cancer patient sa naturang ospital. He used to be that someone who almost give up everything. Kasi tanggap naman na niyang mamamatay rin naman siya at wala ng pag-asang gumaling pa siya. Sobrang pagod na siyang indahin ang bawat turok ng gamot sa nanghihina na niyang katawan. Makailang beses na rin niyang sinusukuan ang bawat session niya for chemotherapy. Para sa kaniya, kahit alam niyang buhay pa siya ay pakiramdam niya matagal na rin naman siyang namaalam. Hanggang sa na-meet niya si Zia. Katulad niya rin itong pasyente at ni minsan ay hindi niya kinakitaan ito ng pagsuko. Palagi siyang nakangiti na para bang walang iniindang sakit na tulad niya. Naroon na mahal na mahal siya ng mga tao sa paligid niya, at hindi maikakailang naghahatid siya ng kakaibang lakas at tuwa dahil sa pagiging positibo niya. And he hates her for being like that.

Because for him, being a cancer patient is a curse and a waste of time. Why would you hope for it to be vanished when every second you live with it, it slowly kills you. Katangahan na lang ang umasa at pagkagastusan pa ang isang sakit na maghahatid lang din naman sa'yo sa kamatayan.

But with Zia, it was different. For her, it was a blessing in disguise that taught a person to be strong enough. That there is always a rainbow after the rain, that being with somebody who loves you most while fighting the battle is a privilege.

"Hi, Blake! Good luck sa chemo ha? You'll make it..." I remember her telling it to me cheerfully. She was always like that. Giving me her widest smile and words of encouragement. Hanggang sa hindi ko namamalayang nahuhulog na pala ako sa kaniya.

I changed my mindset because of her positivity. I did everything to fight this battle and be free to it so I could give my whole self to her. I want us to be together for a lifetime. I want to pursue her just like what normal person can. Until today, the doctor told us a good news. I am finally a cancer free!

Sobrang nalunod ako sa balitang iyon at dali-dali akong pumunta sa kaniya. Kaso huli na, biglang bumaliktad ang mundo ko. Wala na siya. Wala na 'yung taong dahilan kung bakit lumaban ako. Wala na 'yung taong dahilan kung bakit ginusto ko pang mabuhay sa kabila ng paghihirap ko.

Yes, life is really a gift from above but it can't deny the fact that death is inevitable.

"Blake! Are you alright?" I heard her voice. Did I hear it right? Zia was here? I looked around inside this room.

I was hoping that I could see her face, smiling at me. Saying sweet words and encouragement. Hoping that all of these were just a dream. Yet, I was wrong. For I realized that I was only facing myself in the mirror. Seeing myself as pale as I used to be. Painting a weak smile on my face, and as I tried to avoid the memory of losing her, I heard again the doctor's voice...

"Time of death: 9:35pm..."