Burning Desire

16

Tristan already knew he was going to hate the trip when they landed in gross, cloudy Washington. It always seemed to be year round depression on the West Coast, and Tristan was glad he left it behind.

They were waiting for their car to show up and bring them to the ugly little town of Colton, the one that Tristan didn't think he'd ever visit again. He didn't even know what to expect, but he assumed his dad and mom would either both be dead or still abusive.

It'd only been four years, but it felt like a lifetime.

"If you're nervous, we can spend the night in a hotel somewhere else and go in tomorrow," Winston offered, but Tristan shook his head.

"It's still early in the day, even more so because of the time zones. If we just wait in a hotel I'm going to be more anxious and probably won't relax," Tristan said as their car pulled up. "I want to do this today."

They climbed in, holding their bags on their laps. Even though they each could've sat on one side in the car, Tristan slid to the middle seat and leaned on Winston. He needed his support then more than ever because of his growing fear and sickness that he felt.

"You two wanted to go to Colton?" the driver asked to clarify. "That's damn far from here. Almost two hours."

"And?" Winston asked, raising and eyebrow. "I'm paying you, aren't I?"

The driver shrugged. "The company doesn't pay for my gas and I'm not gonna make enough off of you. Can I drop you at a bus station?"

"Yes, that works," Tristan said before Winston could rant to the driver.

They got to the bus station and boarded a bus, Tristan sitting by the window and looking out at the fog-ridden state. It was always cold and foggy in Washington.

Perfect energy for lifelong depression.

Winston grabbed Tristan's hand when they were seated and rubbed his thumb over Tristan's palm. "You're really brave for doing this," he said in a warm voice.

"You woke me up and said 'let's go to your hometown,' so I don't think we can consider this my choice or my bravery," Tristan responded, laying his head on the window.

"If you really didn't want to go, you wouldn't be here," Winston said, squeezing Tristan's hand. "I know you, T, and if you don't want something, it doesn't happen. Hell, we could've arrived here and you could've said no and gotten back on another plane to go home, but you're not."

Tristan sighed deeply. "I feel like you're right," he said in a small voice. "I need closure... I need to decide on my own terms out of the way of any harm that I'm happy leaving this behind and I need my parents, whether it be them in the flesh or at a cemetery, that they ruined me and will never have their son back because it's my life and they ruined the first part of it."

He paused and looked at his wallet, which had the cash he'd been given by Winston.

"And I need to pay back the people I took from."

Winston smiled at his soulmate. "And I'll be right by your side for whatever you need."

Tristan just nodded, not in the mood to smile back. He laid his head on Winston's shoulder and tried to plan out what he'd say if his parents were still alive. If they were in a grave it'd be easier, but if not... how would he speak to them? They would probably still be on the verge of death so he doubted they'd even take into account what he'd be saying.

When the bus stopped with a screech, Winston grabbed both bags because Tristan looked too shaky to be able to carry his own bag and he just needed to focus.