Ruin You ; Ron Weasley

8.

The months dragged on, each day more painful than the last.

I knew I had to keep it together in front of my father, but every time I saw Ron the world around me turned gray and cold.
I couldn't focus on classes, I barely hung out with my friends, and every night when my roommates were fast asleep I stared out the window and tried to picture Ron and Hermione's kiss.

The night of our fight, I made Harry go back in the common room to retrieve the letter and now carried it around in the pocket of my robe every day, reading it any chance I could.
I thought about giving it back to him, or throwing it away altogether, but then the words "Please don't think for a second that I have stopped loving you, because nothing could be farther from the truth." would jump out and rip my heart from my chest.
I hated Ron, but at the same time, I prayed he would walk up to me any minute and tell me he was sorry one more time.
As awful as it sounded, I think I might just forgive him if he did.

But of course, he spent his days hanging around with Hermione and Neville, completely forgetting I existed.
I ended up being the one to steal Harry though, as he was the only person who checked on me every day and refused to let me shut him out. He helped me with homework when I forgot to pay attention and took me on walks when I couldn't sleep.
Of course, he and Ron were still pals, but deep down I knew he liked being around me more. There were times that I worried he was developing a bit of a crush, but I was in no position to lose him and he never said anything, so I pretended not to notice.

Faye comforted me too, but she had Luna drama to deal with so the two of them were always "busy" in the back of the library or The Room of Requirement.
Draco, Blaise, and Pansy didn't have a clue about the situation, which I preferred, but it made it harder to be around them and act like everything was okay. They didn't seem to mind though, except Draco, who always gave me longing stares as we passed in the halls or if I caught his eyes in class. His looks were changing, his skin paler and more sunken in, and when we did speak he was harsh or completely emotionless.

He was honestly starting to remind me of my father.

I wanted to ask him if anything was wrong, but every time the chance came I backed out, not wanting to load anyone else's trauma on my back.
Besides, he was Draco Malfoy, he wouldn't want the pity anyways.

—

I sat on my bed and stared out the window numbly, feeling more alone than usual.
Faye was in the library with Luna and I hadn't seen Harry in hours.
I twisted the letter in between my fingers as it rested in my pocket, slightly crumpled from the many times I've opened and folded it. I debated reading it again, but by this point I had the entire thing memorized and only took it out because it sort of smelled like him.
Ron and Hermione were off at Hogsmeade together, saw them leave myself, which was why I chose to sit in my room alone.
As far as I knew, they remained just friends even after Ron and I broke up, but still seeing the sight of them even next to each other made me feel sick.