No escape

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There's no escape.

There never will be.

No silver lining,

no light at the end of the tunnel.

Just gray,

just black.

The world is in black and white,

but too complex for that. 

There are colors I'm not seeing,

will never be able to see.

I am filled with desire, but sadness, too.

I just want to give up.

Succumb to the pain.

And I will,

in a way.

I won't leave,

but the knife will drag across my skin

and let the red appear

and let me see it

and feel the pain

and let me smile.

Smile through the mask.

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