Stormy Shoals: A Poetry Collection

I'm not sorry

I broke your trust.

I mean, did I expect anything else?

I prefer you alive and mad

to dead and nothing...

You burdened me, Ella,

and I don't like that.

Now I had to tell people.

Had to lean on my friends,

the thirty-year-olds.

And now my parents know.

My mom looked at me with pity.

This is exactly what I'd tried to avoid...

you play the victim, and I can't decide

if you are, if I am,

or if it's both of us.

I cut my thumb because of you.

Told the counselor I was fine,

I wasn't in any danger,

as I watched blood leak from my knuckle

under my keyboard.

I'm a liar now.

It's not as if I wasn't before,

but now I lied for no good reason...

now I list how I describe myself:

fat,

ugly,

guilty,

unkind,

selfish,

untrustworthy,

self-absorbed,

butting in on something that is none of my business.

But I don't like you anymore.

I'm sorry.

ᴵ'ᵐ ⁿᵒᵗ ˢᵒʳʳʸ....